Overtime…yet again

April 23rd, 2014 2 comments

It’s 8pm and I’m still hard at work, trying to save the universe and all that it encompasses.

Here’s hoping that everyone else is having a better evening than I am….  *sigh*

The best I can do on such short notice is this pretty nifty lil’ .gif:

sae9HoB

Apologies for not having the time to visit my favorite blogs.  Please don’t hold it against me if I’m MIA\AFK tonight.  See you tomorrow!

Categories: Uncategorized Tags:

Count Dante: Deadliest Man (No Longer) Alive

April 22nd, 2014 4 comments

John Timothy Keehan (aka Count Dante) (1939 – 1975)

Ex-hairdresser turned martial arts master, arsonist, terrorist, and war chief (seriously, take a second and read his Wiki page.  This guy was a bigger-than-life cartoon character).  The self-proclaimed “Deadliest Man Alive”, if you didn’t agree with him he would just as likely plant blasting caps in your place of business as punch you in the face.  A sensei to some, a criminal to others.  And to the people who read comic books as kids he’ll always be known as the karate man with the ‘fro…

Categories: comics Tags: ,

Five Minute Fiction 33 (repost)

April 21st, 2014 8 comments

An ongoing experiment where I give myself five minutes to write something.  Don’t think about anything.  Just write.  When done, walk away and come back later to correct any glaring errors.

We were away this weekend to celebrate Easter.  Here’s  a repost of a previous FFM entry.

Enjoy?

Best Friends

Joan, the imperfect princess, materializes in my apartment like some loathsome apparition and sits on my couch crying.  “He left me,” she says between breathless sobs.  “No good bastard, he left me.”

And I wish she wouldn’t cry on my couch.  She’s going to leave makeup stains on the cushions.  Tissues on the carpet.  Like an emotional typhoon she’s going to transform my home into her own goddamn mourning headquarters.  “Oh, Joan,” I sympathize, but not really, “I’m sure he’ll come back.”

Wiping her nose with the back of her hand, Joan stands up and makes her way to the bathroom, slamming the door shut.  I can hear her lifting the toilet seat.  I can hear her collapse to the floor.  I can hear her vomiting whatever small amount of food she has tucked away in her tiny bird-like stomach.  But all I can think about is the buildup of soap scum in the sink.  The ring around the tub.  The hard water spots on the mirror.  The mold that’s running laps around the base of the toilet.  I can’t help but concentrate on all of these dirty little things, and how much I wish Joan would just leave.

I rap lightly at the door.  “You okay in there, hon?” I ask, not caring.

I hear her flush the toilet.  Run the tap.  Wipe her face on my towel.

The door cracks open with a slight squeak, and in the instant I see her angelic, photogenic face I want to drive my fist into that perfect button nose of this imperfect person.  I want to loosen her whitened teeth.  Gouge viciously at those Lasiked eyes.  Rip that dyed hair out from the roots.  I want to make her outside as pretty as her inside.

But instead, I open my arms and take her in my embrace.  Pulling her close.  Thinking how easy it would be to smother her to death.  “It’s okay.  You always have me,” I whisper, soft as puppy’s breath.

But I don’t mean it.  Not really.

 

Categories: Writing Tags:

The Virgin Mary And Her Many Appearances

April 18th, 2014 7 comments

The Virgin Mary seems to make many appearances in various forms, somehow projecting a mystical aura more powerful than four-year-old hopped up on Froot Loops and cotton candy.  But instead of projecting her ethereal image into the heavens above for all to see, or simply haunting a middle-class duplex like a civil Poltergeist, she instead seems to prefer making her presence known through unimpressive water stains and burnt toast.

These dubious techniques leave much to be desired by the masses expecting a rock ‘n roll laser light show live at Buddakan, chock full of spectacular miracles and visions.  Instead we’re left to believe in the everlasting love found in the hereafter via signs found in tree stumps and fence posts.

Appearing in the toast of a cheese sandwich, the Virgin Mary gives a shout out to her homies.

The Virgin Mary appears under a freeway underpass.  The faithful turned out in droves swinging bibles and rocking their faith.

Appearing as a blob of chocolate, the Virgin Mary apparently has a place in her heart for candy makers.

Looking prettier than Val Kilmer before he got hit repeatedly about the head and shoulders with an ugly stick, Mary glistens with prismatic rainbow hues in the windows of an office complex.

Tree stump Mary.  I know, I know…I’m rolling my eyes as hard as I can.  Can you feel it?

The Virgin Mary wields supernatural powers, revealing herself to the world in the form of a pretzel.

The Virgin Mary appears in the form of a fence post….comeon, what the heck?  Should I continue wasting my time with this blog post?

Apparently up to date with modern technology, the Virgin Mary appears in an MRI scan.

Imagine the shock and awe of the gardener who discovered the Virgin Mary hiding inside the rotting husk of the next door neighbor’s tree…

Mary appearing on a wicked skipping stone.

Mary, with apparently nothing else to do, appears as a scorch on the bottom of a pizza pan.

Don’t get me wrong.  If you believe that the mother of Jesus Christ has nothing better to do than reveal herself in the crust of your child’s PB&J then hey, more power to you.  Me, I’d like to think that there is a higher power, but that power has better things to do than show itself to a bunch of fervent faithful in the form of a broken tree branch.  I’d also like to think that it has more insight and intelligence than to frak with us in such a way.

If you do believe in this stuff, then I don’t mean to belittle your faith.  Honestly, that’s not my intent here.  You continue to believe in your cheese sandwich apparitions.  I’ll continue to simply believe that there’s “something” bigger than us out there, and perhaps one day we’ll meet.

And to think that my initial concept with this post was to merely wish each and every one of you out there a Happy Easter.  Heh…

Easter

April 17th, 2014 8 comments

Easter seems to bring out the worst in some people:

Karin and I brought Tyler to one of these events last year, and we saw more than our fair share of parents who were hell bent on hoarding all the eggs for their precious little snowflakes. We walked away both dejected and amused at what we saw and experienced. Whatever happened to just letting the kids wander around by themselves as they hunt for Easter eggs? Why does everything have to be a competition?

Categories: holiday Tags: ,