Terrible Analogies

Unable to sleep last night I rolled out of bed, stumbled down the stairs, turned on the television and began to mindlessly channel surf.  The static drone of sub-par late night t.v. programming slowly began to lull me into a light sleep when suddenly a loud commercial of questionable production value jostled me back into lucid, vicious reality.

On the television appeared a man in his late forties / early fifties wearing a freshly pressed blue button-down business shirt.  He was one of those people who talk with their hands to help convey a sense of urgency and evoke emotion.  In the background were people in simple clothes, wearing straw hats and sporting thick chin curtain beards, who were hard at work assembling wooden structures of some type.

In short, these people were Amish.

The product this blue-shirted hand talker was anxiously pitching? Electric fireplaces.

Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t one of the main tenants of the Amish to reject technology in favor of a simpler life?

If so, why are they helping to produce electric fireplaces?

It seemed unusual…no, it seemed wrong to see hard working Amish craftsmen being pimped to help sell a modern convenience for modern life.  And to market these fireplaces as “Amish crafted” is deceiving at best.

Doing a quick search for Heat Surge I found complaint after complaint after complaint after complaint after complaint after…well, you get the idea.

Forgive me if I’m sounding a bit blunt, but these underhanded marketing gimmicks rub me wrong.  It’s obvious what Heat Surge, LLC is doing with these sleight-of-hand tactics; trying to portray themselves as some sort of small-town, salt of the earth company just trying to turn a small profit for the Amish community.  Instead, think of them as a sneaky fly-by-night carpetbagging snake oil salesman trying to up sell his tonic water as a cure-all for whatever ails ya.

UPDATE: Chris Pugh (or someone impersonating Chris Pugh) from Heat Surge posted a comment with a link to “address any questions or concerns you may have”.  In the spirit of fair play I’ve approved this comment, but it seems to be a canned response to all negative reviews of Heat Surge.  Feel free to do with it what you will…

Electric Fireplace: Kitch Chique Krap

100% Amish craftsmanship 50% of the time

"We spend most of our lives living in an Amish paradise..."

So...the scam is the Amish assemble pre-cut wood in an Ikea-like assembly line?

Once assembled all Heat Surge fireplaces are shipped via the Amish version of FedEx, as recorded here. Expect delivery is a speedy 1-2 months, just in time for Summer...

Television Television