Dear Best Buy: I’m Sorry I Have To Tell You This…
Best Buy:
Over the past two years we’ve become very familiar with each other. Every Tuesday I loyally make the quick drive from work to see you during my lunch hour, anxious to see what new movies were released on DVD. Slowly, I would wander your aisles, softly whispering movie titles under my breath, carefully fondling your newly stocked selection, and unconsciously, almost out of loving reverence, when I noticed a DVD out of place, I would pick it up and gently place it in its correct location.
Things were good and right with the world. My movie collection was growing at an exponential rate, and I couldn’t be happier. It was then, after nearly a two-year love affair, that she showed up.
Her name was blu-ray.
The moment that I gave in, my knees trembling, seduced by her superior picture and sound, I knew our relationship was on rocky ground.
Sure, things were still status quo for a couple of weeks. I was swinging by every Tuesday afternoon, but now I was noticing things…small things really, that I never noticed before. Your blu-ray selection was sparse, leaving me wanting. Your prices were high, often charging me double what a new DVD would sell for. Your once bright and comforting atmosphere began to grow cold and aloof. I no longer felt at ease under the flat sheen of your unwavering florescent lights.
This is difficult for me to say, so I think I’ll just say it: I think we should spend some time apart. You know, perhaps see other people? I still love you, I really do. It’s not you, it’s me.
I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you this in person. Writing this letter was hard enough, and I couldn’t bear saying these words and seeing the heartache on your face. Please, forgive me.
Love, HermanTurnip
P.S. I’ll be spending my Tuesday’s at Fry’s, you know…if you ever want to talk.
I have given up 100% on BB. I hate them now. The only thing I do there is look at price. I have even stopped buying 360 games there. BB is evil, pure evil I tell you.