Terrible Analogies

In the fewest words, and in the most direct language I can muster, I’d like to make a desperate plea to certain individuals who should know better than to ignore the practice of basic hygiene, especially when utilizing public restrooms.

I’ve been growing a tumor over this issue long enough.  I just have to say something to you swines.

Yes, I’m talking to my fellow stall buddies and porcelain jockeys.  (the royal) We notice when you fail to wash your hands after taking care of business, and I’d like to let you know that your lack of cleanliness disgusts and sickens us.  How can you, in good conscience, brazenly exit your stall proud of your strained accomplishment, carefully adjust your gig line, and with quick, practiced power-steps head towards the exit, the heels of your Hogan shoes sternly clicking on the salmon colored tiles as you reach for the door handle.  Unwashed, you tap your fingers against the walls as you saunter down the hallways.  Unwashed, you head towards the break room to eat your lunch.  Unwashed, you shake hands with your office buddies, palm the cafeteria tables, poke at the buttons on the snack machine, and fondle the forks in the utility drawer.

You absolutely repulse us.  And if you think we don’t know who you are, think again.  Please, for the love of all that’s good and divine, take a second to wash your hands with soap and water after doing your business.  If a high school dropout working at the local Mickey D’s can handle this most mundane of tasks after wrapping up his ten minute lunch break, I’m sure all of you Mr. Self Important $120k college degree asshats can comprehend the importance of proper hand sanitation.

So, the next time we meet, please don’t be offended when I don’t shake your hand or opt not to use the same keyboard as you do.  I know who you are and I know what you don’t do.

…many, many left to go.

Call it a side effect of the economy or a lack of dedication on my part, but I’ve finally removed World Of Warcraft from both my Mac and my PC.  It was a somber, yet empowering moment when I deleted this time sink from my life.  The way I look at it, on one hand I wiped away all of the accomplishments that at one time I thought were so important, but on the other hand I freed up quite a bit of precious hard drive space.

Now, affording the monthly rate wasn’t a burden.  I think I finally grew bored with a game that seemed more like work than fun.  I found myself wishing I had more time to do other things in life.  Squeezing in my daily blog post wasn’t cutting it for me.  I felt I needed to do more.  I think I’ll pick up writing where I left off on my main book (Abbey and Hal have been stuck in that diner long enough), and finish up another short story I’ve been working on (dig that Frank and his crazy hidden deformities).  I also need to step it up on my running in preparation for my Mt. Whitney assault in September.

And so, this is how it ends.  Not with a bang, but rather with a “meh”.  And before you even ask…no, you can’t have my stuff.