I had a nightmare (if you can call it that) last night.
There I was, a miniscule version of myself, walking around in my own mouth. I was traversing the vast expanse of my molars, sliding gracefully down my canines, and trudging over my slick gums as I slunk in awe under the etherial arches between my teeth. My bicuspids were islands, set deep into my pink flesh, each with moats of spittle pooling together, surrounding my enamel with a protective ocean barrier. My lower incisors were massive flat towering sheets of ivory, stretching high into the atmosphere, forming a jagged, shadowy skyline in the heavens.
On my tongue, in place of taste buds was an uncountable, rolling carpet of Curly heads (the guy from the Three Stooges). They spotted me and in unison said, “it’s not what you do, but the way that you do it.”
And then I woke up.
Ever have one of those dreams?
One of the more disturbing animated .gifs I've seen in a long while...
Personal, Random, Strange Encounter
Personal, Random, strange
This is all becoming a bit too much. Mr. Billy Mays has died.
The consummate pitchman with stubble bequeathed from the very gods themselves passed away Sunday morning. No longer will I hear his dulcet tones hawking everything from cheese graters, to Oxy-Clean, to Mighty Putty.
Oddly enough, when I poked around Sunday morning looking for Billy Mays information, I repeatedly found myself a victim of the dreaded 404:
I didn’t have this issue when surfing for Michael Jackson info last week. Perhaps Billy Mays has a bigger fan base than previously thought?
It’s also notable that Billy Mays died at the same age as Michael Jackson: 50. Is 50 becoming the new 27?
And to think, I was placing bets that Patrick Swayze was going to be the next to go. Who could have foreseen that Mays was going to steal Swayze’s thunder? If it’s true that these things happen in threes, then we need just one more celebrity death to make that hypothesis mathematically divisionally true:
1- David Carradine
2- Ed McMahon
3- Farrah Fawcett
4- Michael Jackson
5- Billy Mays
6- ??? Profit!
As for me, I’m currently on the Abe Vigoda deathwatch…
Celebrities
Celebrities
Michael Jackson…dead?
It’s almost too difficult to believe. I mean, not being a fan, and not privy to the inner sanctum of the Jackson cult, I find it strangely odd to think that the man whose videos I grew up watching on MTV has come down with a slight case of death. It just seems a bit…surreal.
And to think, we’ve had a rash of celebrity deaths recently; David Carradine, Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett. Who’s willing to take bets that Patrick Swayze will be the next to go?
It’s inevitable that the celebrities you grew up watching will one day die. It’s the passing of an age and the march of time happening right before our eyes.
And so, I say a sad “so long” to our moonwalking, studded glove wearing, flaming haired, zippered jacket icon of yesteryear. I almost feel guilty for mocking him in a recent post. I guess I’ll pick up my statue from the Bad Timing Awards on my way out the door…
When Ryan Seacrest confirms your death...brother, you're dead.
Celebrities
Celebrities
What is it about politicians and infidelity? Why does it seem as if a disproportionate number of them are embroiled in scandalous affairs of one type or another? Do people who are in positions of power believe that, because of their inflated sense of ego, their indiscretions will go unnoticed, and if caught can be swept up under the rug?
This isn’t a uniquely Democrat or Republican problem, either. I’m not calling out one side or the other. What I’d like to see is a bit more responsibility from my elected officials. And just because you apologize doesn’t mean you’re forgiven. Positions of power demand a higher sense of purpose. Heck, when I was in the Air Force, it was drilled into you that everything you did reflected upon you, and because of that, you were held to a higher level of accountability. Believe me, people took their jobs seriously. If a bunch of Airmen whose jobs aren’t necessarily as important as those of an elected official are held to a higher standard of behavior, why aren’t elected officials treated with the same iron fist?
Cheating on your spouse says a lot about your character. If you can’t be faithful to your wife, how can your electorate believe that you have their best interest at heart? As an ever-increasing number of politicians are exposed for unfaithful, questionable, and even indecent behavior, we’re less and less shocked by the mounting revelations…and I think that’s one of the most shocking side effects of this situation. When we as a people become numb to the pain of yet another one of our elected leaders falling to indiscretions, what does that say about the entire political process?
And to get off topic a bit here; why aren’t elected officials drug tested? Professional athletes are drug tested. Doctors are drug tested. Even grade school kids are drug tested. Why aren’t our politicians?
Some days I just feel as if our elected leaders are giving us a mouthful of crotch and we’re expected to think that it tastes like fine wine. It’s no wonder we’re losing faith in the whole process. I have an idea…instead of in-fighting and one-upsmanship, how about all of the politicians get together and just do your damned jobs? No more pork. No more dogears. No more special interests. One bill, one purpose. Tick what needs to be ticked off, and get your jobs done.
I, for one, am tired of your damned games.
Politics
Politics
Is it just me, or does the new Iomega external hard drive look an awful lot like a flask?
Computer, Tech
Computer, Tech
