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Archive for June, 2009

The Best Popping / Cracking Gum

June 23rd, 2009 24 comments

I’m a notorious gum popper/cracker.  Give me stick of gum and I’ll soon be driving you mad with my consistent *pop* *pop* *pop* sounds.  It’s something I do almost unconsciously.  It’s a bad habit I can’t seem to break myself from.

You might ask, “How do you pop your gum?”  Well, if you look around the internet you’ll invariable come across the “spread the gum across your front teeth” gibberish, which is a bizarre method.  For me, I simply place the wad of gum around the third & fourth tooth back from the canine, compress the gum, creating a vacuum between the gum and my teeth by pressing sideways with my tongue, then unclench my teeth.  This creates a negative pocket of air that snaps the gum quite loudly.  It’s difficult to explain, but once you get it, it becomes second nature.  Popping this way allows you to snap your gum without having to open your mouth.  Some would classify this technique as “cracking” your gum, but whatever.

Here’s a quick scientific study I performed this weekend; curious to see which gums allowed for the easiest pop/crack, I gathered together this small selection of gums from the checkout line:

Orbit: This is the Gold Standard as far as I’m concerned.  After a few minutes of warming up the gum, it’s ready to pop.  Orbit has that perfect tackiness that creates a nice suction between the teeth and cheek to produce a consistent loud *pop* with nearly every chew.  This gum is so perfect for popping that it’s almost like cheating.

Trident: This is probably the worst gum to pop.  In fact, I couldn’t produce one single snap from this gum.  It feels as if there’s a thin film to it which prevents this gum from the sticking to the teeth.  Great if you’re chewing gum while wearing dentures, but it makes for a less than satisfactory chew for gum poppers.

Stride: A softer chew than Orbit, making popping the gum a bit difficult.  You really have to concentrate to get a good series of pops.  Pleasant to chew, but places low on the snapping totem.

Five Gum: Finally, a gum that produces consistent, meaty pops with just a bit of effort.  Traditional-sized stick of gum gives you more material than you need, but popping still occurs with ease.

Extra Fruit Sensations: This gum shares the same packaging as Five Gum.  A quick internet search shows that 5 Gum and Extra are both produced by Wrigley’s.  I’d have to say that Extra is on par with 5 Gum when it comes to popability (is that a word?).  If my life depended on making a choice between 5 Gum and Extra, I’d have to go with Extra.  There’s just something about it that makes snapping slightly more enjoyable.

WinterFresh: Again, another Wrigley’s product, and a standout to boot.  Easy to pop, but the winterfresh flavor quickly begins to wear on you.

Eclipse: Any gum that comes in a package that requires you to pop out a serving like you’re popping out a cold tablet is to be avoided.  You’re not given enough material to work with, and the gum is far too soft to get a good, consistent pop/crack.  Avoid this gum.

And that’s it.  What it comes down to is avoiding the “Bubbleicous”  sugary gums.  These are impossible to work with.  Gums that come in traditional sticks are harder to pop than smaller serving sized gums.  Do not buy gum with a candy coating, as those are usually too soft to crack.

Categories: food, Rant Tags: ,

Happy Father’s Day

June 22nd, 2009 2 comments

Hope everyone had a great father’s day.  

To celebrate I made up a special batch of my Budino desert.  This bad boy is composed of 12 egg yolks, three cups of heavy cream, two cups of sugar, 16oz. of chocolate, whole vanilla beans, and a generous dollop of whipped cream.  It’s a heart attack in a cup, but death never tasted so good…

Knowing my dad likes this desert, Karin and I surprised him by dropping by unexpectedly bearing gifts and budino.  There’s nothing like making your pops day with love and chocolate!

Of course we stowed away a couple Budinos for ourselves.  I managed to squeeze eight servings from this batch, and figured my dad wouldn’t know if this offering we delivered to him was two cups light ;-)

Categories: food, holiday Tags: ,

Wilkins Coffee

June 19th, 2009 1 comment

What…in…the…heck?

Poor amorphous blob. It’s tough going against the grain, especially when a Muppet is holding a gun to your head.  Such is the way it goes around here on a Friday I guess.  Perhaps next week will be a little better, assuming I can finally kick this cold-flu thing that’s been bogging me down since last Sunday.

As well.  As my dad always said to me, “When you come to the fork in the road, take it.”  I’m not sure what that has to do with anything.  I just like the way it sounds ;-)

Categories: Friday Tags:

Just When I Think I’m Out…

June 18th, 2009 No comments

Going through the mail the other day I came across a love letter from Best Buy that contained one of these:

I’m guessing that Best Buy didn’t get my “Dear Jane” letter I wrote them a couple months ago.  If they had, then they wouldn’t have bothered sending me this $5 gift card.  Honestly, I don’t recall the last time I set foot in a Best Buy, but it must have been quite a while ago for them to start missing me enough to send me this obvious attempt to lure me back in.

But who am I kidding?  I’m a sucker for free.  Call me weak.  Free food samples at the grocery store?  I’m there.  Free cookies at the bank?  Yep, count me in.  Free trial subscriptions?  You betcha.  I’ve even been known to make an appointment for the dentist just to scam a free lollipop, so you know I’m all over this $5 gift card from Best Buy.

But this is it.  I swear after this, it’s cold turkey.  No more Best Buy, no matter how convenient the store location or how glamorous the sales promotion, I’m drawing the line.  Your blu-ray prices pushed me out the door, and I don’t plan on coming back until you’ve changed your ways, and I don’t expect you to do so any time soon.  In fact, I feel so confident in that assertion that I’ve given Fry’s a promise ring, and I don’t intend to see anyone behind her back.

After all, she now has my letterman jacket, and asking for it back would be, ya know…kinda awkward.

Addendum:

Weird Neighbor Alert…this morning at 12:16 am, my pool-playing neighbor was busy hauling what looked like body bags from his garage into the side of a white 70′s Econoline van with diamond-shaped tinted rear windows.  We couldn’t help but take notice because every few minutes we heard a distinctive hollow *THUD!* as bag after sealed bag hit the floor of that van, and we just had to open the blinds to see what was going on.

Surveillance will continue… ;-)

Categories: Blu-ray, Movies, Random Tags: , ,

Moonwalker: A Childhood Memory Ruined

June 17th, 2009 1 comment

I was playing Michael Jackson’s Moonwalker on my MAME arcade machine the other day, deftly fighting my way though wave after wave of knife-wielding rednecks, skulking mobsters and deadly robots, armed with nothing more than my crystal-encrusted glove, my chimp buddy Bubbles, and my electric personality, when something struck me as a bit…odd.

Attacking our fearless hero Michael is a surprisingly well prepared army of “roaring 20′s” style gangsters, cloaked hit men, gas-tossing chemists, as well as manned and unmanned robots.  Amid this cast of characters there seemed to be a subset of baddies who appeared to not be wearing any pants.  By all indications, they were coming at Michael “commando” style, fully cocked and ready to rock:

Okay, I can understand if this was a poor color choice for pants, yet  I still question the developers for what I can only assume to be design input from MJ himself.  I was going to let this slide until, later in the game, another strange thing began to attack our lone champion:

This mini-boss has eyes for our intrepid smooth criminal.  His weapon of choice: A metallic battering ram that repeatedly thrusts in and out from the waist area.  Long, hard, and green, this boss wants nothing more than to repeatedly violate Michael about the face with his protruding tool.  If our slide glidin’ adventurer doesn’t beat this foe off quickly enough, miniature golden bosses are spawned, each with a similar rocket in its pocket aimed at Michael’s lower gyrating extremities.

I

If by "wondrous and magical adventure" you mean "tied up and held captive", then I'm sure you will Michael. I'm sure you will...

As a child I don’t recall Moonwalker being so graphically questionable, but as an adult playing this game, I wonder if “game designer” Michael Jackson was trying to tell us something about himself way back in 1990…