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Detailing The Obvious

Slaving away at work this past Saturday, snacking on a bag of Cracker Jacks, I suddenly became very thirsty. Placing iTunes on pause (thankfully silencing that damned Blue Monday cover song by Orgy), I trudged on over to the break room and purchased a carton of milk from the wheel-of-death©.  On my way back to my cubicle-of-death, I noticed the following:

You’ve got to be kidding me.  Does the Rock View milk company think I’m so stupid that they need to emblazon their product with detailed instructions on how to open a milk carton?  What sort of invalid is incapable of figuring out the obvious way to breach the otherwise impenetrable skin of these paperboard containers?

The more I thought about it, the more insulted I felt.  Next thing you know we’ll be finding signs listing in painful detail how to climb a set of stairs, bright stickers indicating how to operate a ketchup bottle, and sewn-on tags graphically displaying how to put on a pair of gloves.

Honestly, If we’re unfit enough to figure out how to open a milk carton, what makes them think we’re smart enough to know how to read, much less follow instructions?

Do these people honestly believe we’re idiots, unable to perform such a basic function in life?

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  1. Mr. Zippy Cup
    Mr. Zippy Cup
    August 6th, 2009 at 22:13 | #1

    It is tough when you have to design your product to be for the lowest common denominator in a ridiculously litigious society.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Marching_Morons

    Be glad the instructions are still in written word. Notice how many are moving to graphic symbols. Perhaps forks of the future will have a instructional representation of a person pointing to the fork then at their mouth. It will happen because someone will sue a utensil company after they jammed a fork into the wrong orifice.

  2. Mr. Zippy Cup
    Mr. Zippy Cup
    August 6th, 2009 at 22:16 | #2

    Bad grammar in above post… Apologies!

  3. August 9th, 2009 at 16:26 | #3

    Heh…the image of Steve Martin in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels poking himself in the eye with a fork just popped into my head.

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