Terrible Analogies

…and it belongs to Bank Of America.

A few weeks ago the wife and I took a trip to Wisconsin to visit her folks.   We made all the necessary preparations, thinking that everything had been accounted for, but little did I know that there had been a large late payment made on a check I wrote long ago which dipped my checking account down to depths not typically seen.

While on holiday I was making charges to my debit card, and all seemed fine until I got home and checked my account balance.

Bank Of America, in their infinite wisdom, hit me with an overdraft charge 15 times over the course of a week. At $35 a pop, the damage added up to $525 is fees.  That’s fifteen times they charged me, the vast amount of the purchases were for less than $20 each (many were in the $6-$12 for food on the go).

Needless to say, seeing that figure was like taking a series of rabbit punches to the kidneys. One would think that BofA would stop accepting payment on a debit card after a few overdraft charges, but talking to one of the soulless drones working behind the counter this afternoon I was told that Bank Of America will allow up to 10 overdraft charges per day without blinking an eye, then start the whole process over the very next day.

Now, I know that it’s up to me to keep track of my money, but you would think that Bank Of America would be intelligent enough to say, “Hey, something’s up here. We’re concerned about this customer, so let’s put a stop on payments until we can sort this out.” But unfortunately Bank Of America simply does not care about anything other than making money (surprise!).  In fact, US banks made over $38 billion dollars in overdraft fees last year alone. These banks no longer see or care about the human element in their equations, and that became abundantly obvious as I sat behind the desk at my La Jolla, California, BofA trying to explain my situation to Cynthia who stared at me expressionless and unmoved. When I asked Cynthia if she thought that this string of overdraft fees was reasonable, she didn’t bat an eye, but instead ran back to her “supervisor” much like a used car salesman who, while making a deal, skulks into the back office to discuss with the “mystery man” every counter offer you give.  Like a patient in a hospital bed being fed a steady drip of propofol, she sat emotionless to my plight, staring at me as if I were wearing the uniform of the enemy, and I could detect the very palpable sense that she wished that I would just shut up and die.

I don’t see how she sleeps well at night.

These overdraft fees, coupled with Cynthia’s lack of empathy, really brought home the stark realization that Bank Of America could give two flips about me, and by extension, any of its customers.  What makes me sick is the fact that the bank I’ve chosen to protect my money winds up robbing me blind, and for how Cynthia treated me, making me feel like a ten dollar whore.

Now, I did manage to get back a portion of my money, but I’m afraid that I’ll be moving my account over to a credit union in the very near future. This was a harsh lesson in Bank Of America’s business model, and one I hope none of you ever have to experience. Again, I didn’t keep track of my checking account, so the fault on this is mine, but the way in which Bank Of America treated me was a ruthless wakeup call, and it really forces me to reexamine my attitude towards big business (it’s funny how that happens when the shoe is on the other hand, no?).

If you bank with BofA, I’d suggest that you opt out of their overdraft protection plan. It entails a simple phone call that could possibly save you hundreds of dollars in the future.  Trust me, it’s worth opting out.

Oh, and if you think that you’re immune from the ravages of these bloodsucking leeches, you’re not.  Even if you have perfect credit, they’ll still stick it to you.