Terrible Analogies

I’ve recently had the auspicious honor of being textually attacked by a spammer who was more than eager to hook me up with “VIP access to some of the hottest clubs in San Diego”. Apparently, this dubious company provides a service that caters to the partying, oversexed frat boy populace that revels in binge drinking, popped collars, faux hawks, trucker hats, and girls named “Bunnie”. I’m unsure how they got hold of my cell phone number, but for several weeks I was the proud recipient six daily text spams, each one encouraging me to contact them for “the hookup”…whatever that is.

Repeated attempts to get them to stop spamming me and to take me off their list went unanswered.  I hate feeling like a victim, so I took the only other action I could.  I contacted the FCC.

You see, in California we can “opt out” of telemarketing phone calls (which I always do).  Upon careful investigation, it appears that cell phone text messages fall into this category.  Unless one has a previous business relationship with a company, that company can not cold call you fishing for business.  Curious to see if I could get any traction with the FCC on this matter, I downloaded and filled out their 1088G Call or Message to Wireless Device Complaint form and mailed it off.

Two weeks later I received an envelope in the mail with this letter enclosed (click to enlarge):

Coincidentally, one week after getting this letter the spam miraculously ceased to darken my cell phone.  Hot damn.  I rarely get to see my tax dollars hard at work, much less accomplishing something worthwhile.   Color me impressed.

Of course this probably means I’ll never get to party with Biff and Candy in the Champagne Room, but given enough time and counseling I think I’ll be able to cope with such a loss…