Sorry for the late post, but I’ve been a bit…distracted.
At 3:30am on February 10th, Karin woke me up to tell me that her water broke.
At 8:30pm on February 11th, our son Tyler was born! He’s 11lbs 15oz of cuteness 
In the baby recovery room, just after his round of shots
Baby meets mommy for the first time
Pouty lips, fat cheeks...pure awesomeness!
While inching my way home this afternoon on a busy local freeway I noticed a man standing in the median between the slow lane and a crowded onramp hold both arms extended with thumbs up. Desperate for a ride, his squinting eyes furtively scanned the faces of each driver as they passed by, hoping his desperate, animated pleas for a ride would convince a good citizen to stop and pick him up.
As I slowly approached this roadside apparition, two cop cars sped by me in the emergency lane with lights flashing and sirens wailing before finally coming to a screeching halt in front of the hitchhiker. They quickly emerged from their vehicles with guns drawn and began barking orders. In my rearview mirror I could see the man on his stomach with both cops pinning him to the ground.
I’m unsure if this guy had just committed a crime and was trying to get away, but that was an unusual and highly dangerous location to be thumbing a ride from.
If nothing else, it was a surreal way to end a busy work day 
Breaking away for a moment for a bit of levity, confoundment, and perplexity.
As I watch this video I can’t help but wonder why this never happened to be during those many years of taking the bus to school:
Is there a reason why buses don’t have seat belts? Just curious…
Adam Richman and the crew over at Man v. Food held a live televised event the day before the Super Bowl. The challenge: To consume a 48oz steak in under 20 minutes.
Now, for those of you familiar with this show, it came as a bit of a shock that this was the challenge. A mere 48 ounce steak? No side dishes or any other gastrointestinal requirements? Heck…even I, with the stomach of a bird and the willpower of a post-op Rosemary Kennedy could scarf down this slab of meat within the given time limit.
This amateurishly staged live “event” was painful to watch. Fans held up “homemade” signs offering encouragement and proclaiming their unquestionable love for Man v. Food. Television announcers were scattered amongst the crowd giving play-by-play calls on the various shenanigans taking place within the unruly mob. All the while a live camera was keeping a vigilant eye on Adam as he paced a nearby hallway, psyching himself up for this momentous “challenge”.
Finally, the big moment arrived. Adam sat down and the steak was placed in front of his gapping maw. The clock began the countdown. Adam attacked the girth of his meat, manhandling the flaccid flesh, slicing healthy-sized cuts off of this sacrificial muscle and shoving them into his moist, quivering, expectant orifice.
The talking heads began offering ever more increasingly bizarre commentaries such as, “That’s a big bite!”, and, “His table manners are impeccable!”, and even “I envy the cow that gave her life for this!”.
At the 15 minute mark Adam asked for a ruling. The observing judge proclaimed Adam the victor, and Adam raised his arms above his head and let out a squeal of excitement. The TV announcer stated (in a warbling voice well on the road to tears) that, “This is the triumph of the human spirit!”
If by “triumph” you mean “making a mockery of a once cool idea”, then yes, it was indeed a “triumph”.
Guys dressed up as a slice of pizza and a hotdog? Check! Cheerleaders? Check. Gold draperies nicked from your grandmother's house? Check! Let's get it on!
Come on, Adam. Beat that meat!
No, this not a joke. That's the "steak cam". *rolls eyes*
"They may take our lives, but they'll never take...our steak!!"
And so, I must ask this simple question…has Man v. Food jumped the shark?
Adam Richman is the man who tackled the 12 pound hamburger challenge, downed 180 oysters, grappled with the “biggest burrito in the west” (7 potatos, 1lb of ham, 12 eggs, a whole onion, cheese & chili), and consumed some of the hottest food on the face of the planet. Do you honestly believe that a 48oz steak is going present any sort of challenge to him, or be entertaining for the viewers to watch?
If the folks over at the Travel Channel are reading this, can I offer you a small bit of advice? If you’re going to do this again, get rid of the over-exuberant crowds, the idiotic commentary, and circus-like atmosphere. Take a cue from the television show and sit Adam down in a restaurant with a small group of people and give him a real challenge. I’m not here to watch the hype. I’m here to root for Adam in the hopes he’ll be able to throw down a vanquishing “M”.
And hey, if he loses, then I’m cool with that too. Just let the man to his thing.
It’s well known that there are two different types of people who flock around their television sets at this time each and every year:
- Those who are there to watch the Super Bowl
- Those who are there for the commercials
I myself am firmly encamped in the former, but I do enjoy the elaborate commercials that air during the breaks. I felt that the commercials lived up to the hype this year, and oddly enough found myself looking forward to the advertisements (shocking!). Strange as it might seem, I was having a good time watching a great Super Bowl matchup and the slick ads…that is, just I saw this:
For your edification, Webster defines “fascism” as:
1 : often capitalized : a political philosophy, movement, or regime (as that of the Fascisti) that exalts nation and often race above the individual and that stands for a centralized autocratic government headed by a dictatorial leader, severe economic and social regimentation, and forcible suppression of opposition
2 : a tendency toward or actual exercise of strong autocratic or dictatorial control
So what is Audi trying to tell me? That I’m a worthless criminal with immoral tendencies who deserves to be incarcerated simply because I don’t kowtow to a hyper-sensitive ecological movement? Apparently, if I don’t drive an Audi, my worthless existence is automatically forfeit upon discovery by an indoctrinated, green initiative, jackbooted thug who works above the law and is beyond reproach?
Watching this commercial made me feel sick. I’ve an idea for you, Audi. Seeing as I’m currently in the market for a new car, I’ll be sure to steer clear of you in protest of this abusive, accusatory commercial. You can take your elitist BS and shove it.
Of course, that’s just my opinion. I’m all for saving the planet, but this commercial went above and beyond, and shows us just what Audi really thinks of everyone who doesn’t one one of their products.
If this is a sign of things to come, I’d hate to think what America would be like if a corporation were voted in as President of the United States.
