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March 26th, 2013 Leave a comment Go to comments

If there’s one rule I follow, one single mantra I adhere to come hell or high water, it’s this:  Never skimp on the condiments.

That’s right.  Never cheap out on ketchup, mustard, soy sauce, mayonnaise, or steak sauce.  Don’t low ball me with your bottom shelf salad dressing, pancake syrup, butter, or Worcestershire.  It’s far too easy to go economical when it comes to salsa, Dijon, or horseradish, but one bargain-basement condiment can absolutely ruin an otherwise amazing meal.

ketchup bottles

I’m a simple man who has only two hangups in life, one of which is that I will not, and refuse to, bowl.  The other is purchasing generic condiments.

So go on.  Splurge on that four-pack of 64oz bottle of ketchup at Costco.  When it’s all said and done, it costs only pennies per serving, but plays a major factor in whether or not I’ll enjoy a meal.

And if you think I bellyache far too much over such an simple thing, then don’t even think about getting me talking about bowling.  Heh…


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  1. March 26th, 2013 at 03:17 | #1

    You don’t like bowling? I LOVE bowling! I even have my own bowling ball with my name on it.

    However, I am with you all the way about the condiments; you are a man after my own heart. Cool that you’ve pictured Heinz ketchup, because no other will do, in my book. Hunt’s is so thin it’s like tomato juice. So are the rest. I like Heinz chili sauce too. Give me that good mayo, horseradish, tartar sauce, all of it. I never cheap out on that stuff, because it’s true what you say…crappy condiments can ruin an otherwise excellent meal!

  2. March 26th, 2013 at 04:01 | #2

    Heinz is THE best. I do like to add sauces, they make a meal every time.

  3. March 26th, 2013 at 05:31 | #3

    “one of which is that I will not, and refuse to, bowl.”

    THANK YOU!!!!! I think the last time I ever went bowling was like 25 years ago.

    “The other is purchasing generic condiments.”

    Agreed!!! A few times I purchased generic salad dressing because it came in a larger size and was the same price as the brand I normally purchase in a smaller size. It was SO not worth it.

    Love Heinz ketchup!

  4. jenny_o
    March 26th, 2013 at 10:00 | #4

    You’ll get no argument from me about the condiments! They’re pretty cheap in any case if you consider the servings you get from a container. Unless you’re eating them by the bowlful.

    Speaking of bowl…ing, I really wish you would write about it because I’m thinking it might be hilarious :)

  5. March 26th, 2013 at 18:40 | #5

    First of all, I do not like to bowl. I never had any joy in bowling. Second, that picture of Heinz catsup out there: Was that meant to represent the good, the best catsup? Because all of my life, beginning in Hawaii and then continuing in Los Angeles, I have used Del Monte catsup. Del Monte is the only catsup with PINEAPPLE juice in it.

    I would never use Heinz catsup because it is a product of Teresa Heinz’s Heinz company. (Although I vaguely recall that she might have sold her holdings in it.) Teresa, the wife of John Kerry, whom I find extremely irritating. I might write a post about this. Hmmm. See what you started?

    I use Lea and Perrins Worcestershire sauce. Omigod…I just now realized that I use Heinz relish! Shame on me. Omigod…..



  6. March 26th, 2013 at 18:41 | #6


    I should have referred to her as Teresa Heinz Kerry, the wife of John, our new Secretary of State.


  7. March 27th, 2013 at 08:58 | #7

    I can’t tell you how amused I am at the mental picture of you, sitting forlorn, in a bowling alley with a plate of french fries doused with Costco ketchup in front of you. The caption under it reads, “E.’s Hell” ;)

  8. March 27th, 2013 at 17:29 | #8

    I don’t use a lot of condiments but store brands are okay, except for maybe mayo. I like the Kraft Olive Oil variety. Ketchup, I prefer organic.
    I bowled wayyy back in high school and a handful of times since but wasn’t good at all.

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