Spotted this ad a few days ago, and am just as bewildered about it today as I was when I first saw it:
Is this the Michael Hutchence model? Perhaps Michael and David Carradine weren’t into closet kink, but rather suffered in silence with their secret shame of being cursed with gimp necks. A small part of me would like to think this is so, because I really want another Kick album.
Hypnotize others quickly, safely — perform any know hypnotic feat with ease! Amaze friends – Exert your hypnotic power over others – be POPULAR and WANTED!
If only it were that simple.
…but think of it! My friends, if it was that simple then for less than two dollars I’d be bestowed with the dark ability to hypnotize my way to financial security, achieve world peace, and land myself a bitchin’ Camaro. I would be able to weasel my way into the Lincoln bedroom, spirit myself to the front of every line at Disneyland, and whisk my way through the express checkout line at the supermarket with more than 15 items with No. Questions. Asked.
Life would be sweet.
One thing disturbs me though. What the heck is this guy pointing at? Is he breaking the fourth barrier and pointing directly at me beyond time and space via this advert? Is he trying to hypnotize me through the printed page? Or is he pointing with stunned shock at some sinister dark force steadily creeping up on the camera man as his picture was being taken in a desperate attempt to warn said cameraman that something none-too-nice with teeth and claw is about to ruin both their days? The mind reels at the possibilities.
Regardless, I think I’ll fill out the order form and double-check the box next to “MAKE MONEY”, and when the cash starts rolling in I’ll invest in a pair of X-Ray Specs, thus increasing my powers and abilities by a power of two!
Here’s a scan of a page found in a catalog while Karin and I were looking for gifts. This is actually a pretty cool breakdown on different varieties of beer and how they relate to each other. If you’re interested in trying a new beer but don’t know where to start, you can use this info to compare what you already like with similar types of beer. Nice!