Terrible Analogies

Apparently, drivers in New Zealand are incapable of slowing down when it rains.  The problem, I’m to assume, is so severe that an advertising agency has created billboards that bleed in an attempt draw attention to the issue.

Eye-catching, to say the least.  I have to wonder, though, if it’s too distracting.  Here in California we have the Amber Alert system that activates electronic signs along the highways that are meant to convey critical information when a child is abducted (or something else equally heinous) and the cops need people to keep an eye out for suspect vehicles.  When these signs are on, people lose their minds.  They begin to drift into other lanes and become incapable of traveling at a safe speed.

I can only imagine how people in New Zealand will react when they spot these bleeding billboards for the first time.  At night.  In the rain.  With an eerie song playing on the car radio.

I was on autopilot driving to work half awake this morning when I finally noticed that the make and model of the car I had been blindly following for the past five miles was a Toyota Avalon.  ”Avalon, huh?” I thought to myself.  ”Interesting name for a car.”

And that got me thinking, what other odd or unusual things are cars named after?

Browsing through Edmunds and cross-referencing online sources I managed to cobble together this small list of automobile makes and models:

Buick Enclave
Enclave: An enclosed territory that is culturally distinct from the foreign territory that surrounds it.

Buick LaCrosse
LaCrosse: The game of the hooked stick

Buick Lucerne
Lucerne: Latin meaning “circle of light”
Also: Capital of Lucerne canton (small territorial division of a country) in Switzerland

Cadillac Escalade
Escalade: An Act of scaling especially the walls of a fortification

Chevrolet Aveo
Aveo: To strongly desire, to crave something or somebody
Also: Latin form of salutation

Hyundai Sonata
Sonata: A composition of one or more solo instruments, one of which is usually a keyboard instrument

Kia Forte
Forte: Something in which a person excels
Also: A strong part of a sword blade, between the middle and the hilt

Kia Rondo
Rondo: A musical composition built on the alternation of a principal recurring theme and contrasting episodes

Mercury Grand Marquis
Grand Marquis:  Marquis = a person who ruled on the lands situated on the border of a realm.  

Mitsubishi Galant
Galant: Russian hygienist
Also: French – 18th century musical term to describe a simpler, elegant musical style favored by, for example, Bach and early Mozart

Porche Cayenne
Cayanne: A plant bearing very hot and finely tapering long peppers

Saturn Astra
Astra: Latin for “star”

Toyota Avalon
Avalon: In Arthurian legend, an island paradise in the western seas to which King Arthur went at his death

Toyota Camry
Camry: Phonetic transcription of the Japanese word kamuri, which means “crown”

Toyota Corolla
Corolla: The whorl of petals of a flower that collectively form an inner floral envelope or layer of the perianth

Personally, I’d feel odd about driving a Cadillac “Wall Climber” or a Toyota “Flower Petal”.

I’ve been thinking about purchasing a new vehicle to replace my Honda S2000.  I’m looking for something along the lines of a sporty two-seater, preferably convertible, with unique lines and great gas milage.  You know, a real head-turner.  

…and I think I just found it.  Ladies and gentlemen, I give you my brand spankin’ new ride, the ZAP! Xebra:

I spotted this dead-sexy beast last week, and instantly fell in love.  This baby peaks out at 42 MPH, grinds to a crawl on any hill above a 20% grade, is so pimp it only needs three wheels, comes fully equipped with an AM/FM cassette radio, and is made in China.  Going price?  A mere $12,000.  Chump change.

Did I mention that this vehicle is classified as a motorcycle, thus avoiding any crash safety test requirements?  I’m curious how well this thing corners in the twisties…