Terrible Analogies

If you haven’t seen Denzel Washington in Man On Fire, stop reading this blog right now.

No, seriously….just stop.  right.  there.  Pick up the movie and watch it.  It’s brilliant.

Go ahead.  I’ll wait….

[HermanTurnip taps his foot....whistles....twiddles his thumbs...performs some long division...]

You’re back?  Okay, great!  We can now continue.

Karin and I watched Man On Fire on blu-ray last night.  This emotional roller coaster might very well be Denzel Washington’s finest film.  If the end times were nigh, the red menace was knocking at my front door forcefully hawking Girl Scout cookies with impish glee, and the resulting zombie hordes were slowly shuffling towards me screaming for my brains, I’d want John Creasy guarding my back with a dual chamber 8-gauge scatter gun and a mean case of the heebie jeebies.

But one thing bothered me.  In the 146 minutes that this film spanned, one scene lasting not but a fraction of that time made me jump from the couch, grab the remote, and smash the “pause” button with the fervor of a maniacal true believer pointing to the passage in the New Testament which he ardently believes provides undeniable proof that the Son of God is among the living making preparations for the final judgment.

I wasn’t sure I saw what I just saw.  I just couldn’t believe my eyes.

It was near the end of the film, where Denzel/Creasy is mustering what strength he has left in his body to walk to his certain doom, redeem himself for all past sins, and offer the ultimate sacrifice, guaranteeing his place by the Lord’s side.

But when I scanned back and paused, there it was.

At the end of Man On Fire, Denzel Washington is prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice

Hmmmm....just a tad dark. Lets lighten it up a bit

Gack! Correct me if I'm wrong, but fingers aren't meant to bend like that

Okay....I'm making myself ill. Is this the result of an old war wound, an overly-exuberant session of Scattegories, or the result of a particularly physical game of pickup b-ball?

I was on business travel in Charlotte when I was first exposed to the HBO mini-series Generation Kill.  For an hour I sat glued to a broken television that would, on queue every five minutes, fade out into a field of static for nearly a minute.  At first I was unsure what I was watching, but I couldn’t bring myself to turn the channel.  What was unfolding was the tale of a Marine reconnaissance unit traveling deep behind Iraqi enemy lines during the first phase of the second war in 2003 utilizing a combat strategy that had never been tested before.  With no backup, these Marines were asked to act as the sharp point of the spear, using speed as their primary weapon as they headed ever deeper into hostile territory with nothing but their unarmored Humvees for protection.

What drew me in was the fact that this was what actually happened.  This was how the men spoke, how they interacted with each other and their commanding officers, and how they were forced to adapt and overcome to survive (no matter how cliched that sounds).  These were the rules that they lived by, where the basic doctrine of military warfare was forsaken, and how the average grunt tried to make sense of the chaos all around him.  From invaders guilt to desperately wanting to score a kill, this show had it all.

Finally, Generation Kill has been released on DVD.  Karin and I have yet to finish the series (we have one episode left to view), but this HBO presentation has been so amazing that I simply had to pick up the book it was based on.

Written by Evan Wright, Generation Kill is a first-hand account of what occurred while he was attached to First Recon, and much of the written word has been faithfully translated onto the small screen.  If you enjoyed the series and you haven’t read the book, you’re doing yourself a disservice.  There’s so much that went on during the time covered in the book that didn’t make it into the series, and knowing the details that are glossed over in the show makes watching Generation Kill just that much more enjoyable.

What gets me is that Evan Wright was given the opportunity to hang back during a particularly dangerous mission, yet he declined.  This, above everything, revealed his true character.  He wasn’t just a quiet kind of guy.  He was something much more.  To understand what I’m trying to convey pick up the DVDs.  Don’t think about it, just do it.  I wouldn’t steer you wrong here… (would I write this wall of text if I didn’t think this was an amazing series?)

I’m no “war monger”, but I was in the Air Force.  Granted, what I experienced during my military career was a far cry from what these Marines went through (but a Marine did back me up in a fight once while I was serving in Japan, so I have a certain soft spot for them), I can still feel a certain kind of kinship towards them.  Even though I was but a shadow of what these men were, anyone with a love for country, or love for a great story, will easily come to appreciate what Generation Kill has to offer.

Even though I already own the DVD set, I can’t wait for the blu-ray version to be released in December.  In fact, I already have it pre-ordered.

Lee Tergesen portraying the author Evan Wright, better known as "Rolling Stone"

Iceman firing a smoke bomb at an approaching vehicle

The commanding officer known as "Godfather"

"Check it out. You're dead *ducks down* alive. Dead. Alive. Dead. Alive..."

Captain American: Is it wrong for me to hope that someone caps his ass before the last episode?

DVD insert showing the main characters

Book cover. Seriously....buy it!

I first laid eyes upon the movie Naked Lunch while wandering through a video store late one night in Japan.  Why I was in Japan sporting two rows of stitches in my face isn’t important, but there I was looking for a video to watch whilst lost and stranded in a foreign land when I happened upon a bin of used VHS movies.  Casually pushing around the chaotic jumble of Japanese packaging looking for anything resembling an english film I spied an eerie alien face peeking through the suffocating pile of torn cellophane and crushed blunted corners of cardboard packaging.  Extracting it from its analog tomb I had in my grasp an english version of the movie Naked Lunch.  What this movie was doing in a nondescript store on a quiet street in Morioka I couldn’t say, but I held in my hands a cheap english movie in a strange land, and for that I was grateful.  It was something I could watch in my phone booth sized hotel room to help me pass the time while I figured out how the heck I was going to get back to America without a passport.

Man, what a mind frack this movie was to my then twenty-year-old mind.  Having read Junky I was familiar with William S. Burroughs, but I wasn’t familiar with David Cronenberg and how warped his imagination was.  I had to pause the movie and take a breather when the orgasmic talking insect typewriters began to verbally rape the protagonist of the film.  

Since then I’ve come to appreciate David Cronenberg and his version of Burroughs’ unfilmable novel Naked Lunch.  I can’t imagine anyone other than Robocop playing the bug poison addicted fugitive.  Peter Weller pulled off an amazing Bill Lee (Burroughs’ real-life alter ego)…and kudos go out to the lactating alien, without whom this movie would be but a shadow of its glorious self.  

I’ve since purchased three different versions of this film (and if it ever comes out on blu-ray it’ll be four), the last of which happens to be a Criterion release.  I’ve scanned a few pages from the included booklet for your amusement.  I would like to recommend this film, but that’s difficult to do because I know some people simply would not be able to handle the notorious weirdness that Croenberg is infamous for.  If you can handle Videodrome and the much tamer eXistenZ (both of which are amazing films), then I think you’re ready for a screening of the sublimely twisted Naked Lunch.

Again and as always, click the images to embiggen…

A friend at work knows I’m a huge DVD fanatic, and with a single e-mail sent me into a self destructive downward spiral of extreme wanting.  Ya see, the wife and I have been shopping around for a PS3 for its Blu-ray capability, wireless connection to the internet, and the automatic firmware updates it performs as they’re released.  We were unable to find one for less than $400.  The e-mail this particular friend sent me was for a 15% discounted price on a new 80Gig Playstation 3 being offered by Dell.  

This discount is still available, so if you want to take advantage of it, please act quickly.  After the 27th of December 2008 the offer disappears.  Click on this link, then input CTV2$2HX963145 into the coupon code.  I managed to snag an 80Gig PS3 for $350.  

Woot!  It’s shipped!  I’m finally diving into the world of Blu-ray, and I couldn’t be happier.  I’ve already ordered a few titles for Christmas, so Santa should be getting us started with upgrading our DVD collection to the Blu-ray format.  I *think* the big guy is hooking us up with copies of:

• The Ultimate Matrix Collection
• 300
• Batman Begins
• The Incredible Hulk (2008)
• Starship Troopers
• Hellboy 1 & 2
• Iron Man
• Wanted
• Pirates Of The Caribbean box set
• Hell Ride
• Transformers

After a couple weeks of sparce DVD offerings (not counting the recent release of Hell Ride), this week was a return to form with the release of several purchase-worthy titles. Along with Hellboy II and Kung-Fu Panda I gathered up the courage, ignored my better judgment, and picked up a copy of Star Wars: The Clone Wars. I figured it was worth throwing down a few ducats to see what the fuss was about.

*Whoah!* You want how much for this? I know this is the “special” tin case version available only at Best Buy, but com’on, $51? And what’s with the .42 cents? Who come up with that figure?

Luckily the yellow pricing sticker on the shelf indicated that this DVD was on “sale” for $20. Hmmm…how can I turn down 61% off sticker price?