Terrible Analogies

You ever have one of those days where you wake up late for work, hit traffic, nearly get into several accidents, forget to drop off your baby at the sitters and only discover this fact after after you pull into the parking lot at work.  You then have to drive all the way back to the sitters, then turn around to go back to work, hit traffic again, finally pull into work, then realize that you forgot your lunch at home.

And your wallet.

And your badge that grants you entry into work.

You then have to stand outside and shadow somebody into the building hoping that they don’t think you’re trying to engage in a bit of corporate espionage.

As luck would have it, as you round the corner there’s the boss sitting in your cubicle wondering where the heck you’ve been for the past hour.  He then asks you for the report that you promised him “first thing in the morning”, hoping that you’d get into work early today to finish it.

After spending a busy and hungry day at work you drive to the sitters and pick up the kid, hit traffic (again), get home and forget to turn on the stove like the wife asked you to and wind up having leftovers because when you finally did turn on the stove you misread the instructions and set it 100 degrees too high and burnt the pizza.

Finally, after sitting down to write a blog post you discover that the scanner drivers on your computer are no longer there because you recently re-imaged your laptop.  You spend twenty minutes hunting down the driver disk, finally locating it buried at the bottom of your desk drawer, slam it into the computer, only to discover that your laptop is no longer recognizing CDs.

In the end you throw your hands up in the air, curse your luck, post a lame video, then saunter over to the fridge and grab a beer, turn on the television and melt into the couch, thankful that the day’s finally over.

Rant, video Rant, video

Here’s my daily afternoon routine:

1- Get home from work
2- Eat dinner
3- Play with baby / cat / imaginary friend
4- Contemplate what it would be like to win the lotto
5- Wash the dishes
6- Take shower
7- Write my blog post

But…today was different.  Today, when I attempted to log on to my blog, I was greeted with the “beach ball of death”.  WTF?  The wheels were spinning, but the blog wouldn’t load.

Calling my hosting solution I was told that they were having “issues with the server”, and that somebody was working on it.  Apparently they’ve been having issues with my server off and on all afternoon.

As I write this it’s 10pm and my site is sometimes up, sometimes down.

I am a sad blogger…

I can only hope that this post goes live at my traditional 1:01am publishing time…

Note: No, this is not a picture of Tyler…

Kids, Rant Kids, Rant

With an estimated 56,000-84,000 barrels of oils a day pouring out of the damaged well in the Gulf Coast, and with President Obama poised to address the nation this coming Tuesday, it seems as if we’ve blown past the “worst case” scenario and have careened head-first into the dark gaping maw of disastrous uncertainty.

This is the type of event that changes nations.

BP is doing its best to white-wash the news by imposing virtual marshall law on the Gulf Coast area, forbidding both the curious and the professional from any and all hotspots.  BP has even gone so far as to purchase key search words on Google and Yahoo in an attempt to deflect negative press.

Still, pictures of the spill are getting out, and the damage is extensive.  The loss of wildlife is disheartening.  As of this post, the BP spill is currently standing at 66 million barrels of oil.  That’s six times larger than the Exxon Valdez oil tanker disaster.

Shoot.  I’m not one to really take up arms, march in the street, and rally around a cause, but this disaster is so unprecedented and catastrophic that one would have to be truly dead inside not to recognize the problem and the desperate need for a solution.

If BP can’t control an oil spill, how would they control a cup of spilt coffee?

This would be funny if it weren’t so sad…

Politics, Rant, Some People Are Jerks, video Politics, Rant, Some People Are Jerks, video

I got home from work surprisingly early yesterday.  So early in fact that I thought that I’d swing by the local gym to squeeze in a quick workout.  Bad idea.

Seems that everyone tries to fit in a quick gym session after work.  There wasn’t a parking spot in sight.  Cars were slowly trawling the lot looking for a free parking stall.  People were even parking in the lower lot reserved for a Walgreens, a pet supply store, and a funky business that sells what looks like artificial limbs and custom auto parts.  I wish I could tell you more about this particular store, but their “closed” sign is always up and the lights are always off.  If I didn’t know any better I’d think that this particular establishment was a front for some other nefarious, underhanded business we’re not meant to know about, and nor should we ask.

I wonder if gyms have a limit to the amount of memberships they’re allowed to sell, or do they continue to sell memberships even though it’s painfully evident that they simply can not accommodate everyone?

Perhaps I’m just bitter that Lost has run its course and I’m just looking for any outlet to use as an excuse to whine and moan?  Could I be in mourning for my favorite show?  Just…just ignore me for today until I get my head straight.

Rant, Unusual Sightings Rant, Unusual Sightings

While driving home today a man on the freeway with a neatly coiffed grey beard and white-collar Modena shirt and tie cut across two lanes of traffic directly in front of me, sped up to catch up to somebody in the slow lane, and flipped him the bird.  Mr. Angry Professional guy then slammed on the brakes of his beige Lexus and came to a full stop on the freeway.  As I passed this genetic defect I saw him flipping off the people who were now skidding to a stop behind him.

I’m unsure what was up with this guy.  Was he taking out his pent-up office aggression on anybody unfortunate enough to be within his direct vicinity?  Did he have a bad boardroom meeting?  Did somebody steal his reserved parking spot?  Was his pb&j pilfered from the break room refrigerator?  Whatever the case I decided that, because I had the baby in my car, I was going to just steer clear of this enraged individual.

And that’s how my work day ended, nearly getting into a high speed car accident with an infuriated Kenny Rogers.

Moron.

Rant, Some People Are Jerks Rant, Some People Are Jerks