Terrible Analogies » Strange Facts

Life Hacks

HermanTurnip — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 09:01:05 +0000

Geez…this list puts my accumulated knowledge of life hacks to shame. In all of the years that I’ve wandered this planet much like David Carradine in Kung Fu (minus the flute and auto-erotic asphyxiation fetishism), the only useful bit of knowledge that I ever came across and retained is that baby food jars make great nut & bolt holders, you can usually bypass telephone phone trees by says the word “operator” or press the # button multiple times, you can open combination padlocks with a soda can, and Sting’s real name is Gordon Sumner.

After seeing this graphic, I’m wondering what useful bits of esoteric knowledge I don’t know…

Does This Make Me A Bad Person?

HermanTurnip — Tue, 03 May 2011 09:01:10 +0000

Please don’t hold this against me, but I can’t seem to get enough of the TV show Wipeout.

Perhaps it’s that I revel in the misery of others. Or perhaps I secretly loath my own life and require that others suffer along with me. But whatever the reason may be, my love for this show knows no bounds.

Yes, this shows does cater to the lowest common denominator…and apparently I fall smack dab within that unenviable demographic.

If you’re willing to take this a step further, please check out the Japanese television show that inspired Wipeout: Most Extreme Elimination Challenge. Trust the Japanese for doing it right the first time. With snappy voiceover dialogue and fiendishly clever “challenges”, Most Extreme set the gold standard for game shows featuring self-destructive idiots. Although this show is tame when compared to Wipeout, this is where it all started.

Remember: Don’t. Get. Eliminated!

Nobody

HermanTurnip — Tue, 15 Mar 2011 09:01:40 +0000

Today I learned that the word ‘nemo’ is latin for ‘nobody’. Kinda puts a sad, morose twist to the movie Finding Nemo, doesn’t it?

All of these years and this little nugget of knowledge had eluded me. Seems like something I should have known a long time ago. I mean, I know that North and South Dakota became states on the same day, I know Ohm’s Law, I can recite Quint’s monologue in Jaws by heart, I know that pure capsaicin is 15-16,000,000 Scoville Units, but I never knew what ‘nemo’ meant.

Ah well…

I’m Never Going Shopping Again

HermanTurnip — Fri, 04 Mar 2011 09:01:51 +0000

From a recent USA Today:

Professor Charles Gerba, the lead researcher, swabbed the handles of 85 carts in four states for bacterial contamination.

Gerba says 72% of the carts had a positive marker for fecal bacteria. When they examined some of the samples, they found Escherichia coli, also known as E. coli, on half of them.

Researchers say they actually found more fecal bacteria on grocery cart handles than you would typically find in a bathroom, mainly because bathrooms are disinfected more often than shopping carts.

Always remember, kids: Practice safe shopping.

Happy Friday! Hope y’all have a great weekend

Hurley A Mega Millionaire?

HermanTurnip — Thu, 06 Jan 2011 09:01:25 +0000

There were two winning Mega Millions lottery tickets last night. These lucky individuals will be splitting $355 million dollars.

But way, that’s not the amazing part. Did you know that the winning lottery numbers were 4,8,15,16,23 and 42? That’s coming awfully close to the winning lottery numbers that Hurley played on the T.V. show Lost:

If you did happen to have played the Lost lottery numbers then you would have won banked $150. Not a bad take for aping the actions of a fantastic television character.

Oddly enough, following the advice of a fortune cookie can also result in a winning lottery ticket. In this particular case the Mega Number was also 42.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go finish up Douglas Adams’ (ghostwritten) final chapter in the Hitchhiker’s series…