Terrible Analogies

Signs of mercury poisoning includes psychological disturbances (angry fits, short term memory loss, inability to sleep), inflammation of the mouth, loss of bone around teeth (they fall out…yay!), ulcerated gums, digestive tract problems (cramps, diarrhea), blood pressure changes, chest pains, respiratory problems (emphysema, persistent coughing) and neurological problems (headaches, vertigo, tinnitus, uncontrollable trembling and shaking).

Famous people who died of mercury poisoning include George Washington, Ivan the Terrible, Louisa May Alcott (author of Little Women), King Charles II, Daniel Fahrenheit (discovered the use of mercury for thermometers), Tycho Brahe, William Makepeace Thackery, Rubens and Renoir.

Given the obvious inherrent danger of mercury in both liquid and gaseous form, I’m shocked and astonished that anyone would not only willingly get close to large pool of this hazardous substance, but also lean over and casually toss a heavy object into it causing a large splash:

Interesting?  Yes.

Sciency?  Yes.

Crazy as a temperamental mule on Monday?  Absolutely.

While wandering about the vast dank recesses and dusty tomes of the ‘net this past weekend I happened upon a quick mention of something called “callsign UBV-76″. The writer mentioned the unending signal of UBV-76 while waxing eloquently about the amateur radio scene of his youth. This casual, offhanded, throwaway reference piqued my interest. It seemed like a code or a secret handshake used only within the confines of a highly specialized and overlooked subset of society.

Damn it, I had to know more.

Curious, I did a bit of research and came up with the following:

UVB-76 is the callsign of a shortwave radio station that usually broadcasts on the frequency 4625 kHz (AM full carrier). It’s known among radio listeners by the nickname The Buzzer. It features a short, monotonous buzz tone, repeating at a rate of approximately 25 tones per minute, for 24 hours per day. The station has been observed since around 1982.In rare occasions, the buzzer signal is interrupted and a voice transmission in Russian takes place. Only three to four such events have been noted.

There is much speculation; however, the actual purpose of this station remains unknown.

This signal has been interrupted only three times since its discovery.  At each interruption a Russian voice could be heard reciting a series of letters, numbers, and names, the latter of which possibly being a phonetic alphabet.

Some people theorize that this station is used to direct the Russian military in times of crisis, while others believe that it serves as a sort of “dead man switch” for a doomsday weapon.

I love the mysterious, the alien, and the unexplained.  It’s stuff like that that makes my world go ’round (well, that and artichokes).  I hope you take a moment to read up on this topic.  Information can be found at the UVB-76 wiki page and a recording of the buzzer can be heard here.

This weekend Karin took the kid out to dinner to show him off to some friends.  Feeling a bit lonely, I decided to google the word “alone”.  This is what I found:

1. Alone

What you’re not. Although it may seem like there is nobody there who cares about you, who is like you, or can be a friend to you, there is someone miles and miles away who would like to be there with you if they knew you were calling.

This is a message to all of the lonely and depressed people out there on their computers, reading definitions of words they’re feeling in hopes to find some comfort, if only for a short while. Regardless of whether you’re reading this in five weeks or in five years, and regardless of whether I’m still browsing this site regularly or dead in a car crash, just know that tonight, I was feeling very lonely, crying out for you.

You’re not alone. I’m not alone. We’re not alone

Thanks Urban Dictionary for making me feel a little less lonely.

“Food blamed for teen obesity”?  Gee, thanks for that breaking news, CNN.  Would have never figured that one out all on my own…

There’s a commercial that’s been airing recently touting the benefits of the Tempurpedic bed.  This magical space-age memory foam apparently “contours” to your body, negating the need for a spring mattress and, supposedly, providing a more comfortable night’s sleep.

Then they hit you with a shocking statistic.  From what I’m led to believe apparently Tempurpedic sells “one mattress every sixty seconds.”

Woah, hold on there partner.  One mattress every sixty seconds?  Is the woman included in the sales price?  Let me run some numbers here…

Breaking out the calculator and figuring that Tempurpedic sells 60 mattresses per hour, that comes out to 720 every twelve hours.  That’s 262,800 mattresses sold every year.  My God, that’s (*button mash* *calculate* *carry the two…*) 10,249,200 mattresses since 1970.

That means that over 3.5% of the U.S. population owns a Tempurpedic mattress.

To put this into perspective, 25% of the U.S. considers themselves Catholic, 15% of the population is Hispanic, 12% are living at the poverty level, and 12% are 65 years old or older.

Again, 3.5% of the population owns (or owned at one time) one of these mattresses?  Can this be right? Personally, I don’t know of anybody who owns a Tempurpedic product.  Now, I’m sure my numbers here aren’t bombproof, but if I’m even close to the ballpark, it’s a stunning figure.