Terrible Analogies

It’s well known that there are two different types of people who flock around their television sets at this time each and every year:

- Those who are there to watch the Super Bowl
- Those who are there for the commercials

I myself am firmly encamped in the former, but I do enjoy the elaborate commercials that air during the breaks.  I felt that the commercials lived up to the hype this year, and oddly enough found myself looking forward to the advertisements (shocking!).  Strange as it might seem, I was having a good time watching a great Super Bowl matchup and the slick ads…that is, just I saw this:

For your edification, Webster defines “fascism” as:

1 : often capitalized : a political philosophy, movement, or regime (as that of the Fascisti) that exalts nation and often race above the individual and that stands for a centralized autocratic government headed by a dictatorial leader, severe economic and social regimentation, and forcible suppression of opposition
2 : a tendency toward or actual exercise of strong autocratic or dictatorial control

So what is Audi trying to tell me? That I’m a worthless criminal with immoral tendencies who deserves to be incarcerated simply because I don’t kowtow to a hyper-sensitive ecological movement? Apparently, if I don’t drive an Audi, my worthless existence is automatically forfeit upon discovery by an indoctrinated, green initiative, jackbooted thug who works above the law and is beyond reproach?  

Watching this commercial made me feel sick.  I’ve an idea for you, Audi.  Seeing as I’m currently in the market for a new car, I’ll be sure to steer clear of you in protest of this abusive, accusatory commercial.  You can take your elitist BS and shove it.

Of course, that’s just my opinion.  I’m all for saving the planet, but this commercial went above and beyond, and shows us just what Audi really thinks of everyone who doesn’t one one of their products.

If this is a sign of things to come, I’d hate to think what America would be like if a corporation were voted in as President of the United States.

Uncategorized

This week Karin and I took a quick trip to Mitsuwa, an amazingly large and well stocked shop specializing in all things asian.  Admittedly, I like to go to this store because they stock a drink called “Calpico”.  It’s something that looks like watered down milk but tastes like an Orange Julius.  Tucked inside Mitsuwa is a cool little alcove filled with nifty Japanese baubles and doohickies, reminding me of the stores on Green Pole Road in Misawa, Japan, where I spent a fantastic three years (’92-’94) of my life and made some great friends that will forever be an important part of me (a shout out to James, Dain, smooth Kev, R. Bone, Scott, John Daley, a crazy guy called RJ, the DJ “what’s his name?”, and everyone else on the 2nd floor of the Intel dorms…).

A few doors down from Mitsuwa is what I like to consider their sister store which stocks Japanese Manga, imported CDs, and movies.  It’s quite easy to lose an hour or two wandering the isles here.

Looks like they had a run on Calpico. I don't blame them. 'Tis the nectar of the Gods. I'm a bit hesitate about their "Aloe" flavor though...

I'm still unsure what this is. Perhaps some sort of salad dressing? For whatever reason they seemed to be fascinated with eggplant and pickles at this store.

For all your pickle and chinaware needs...

Who knew Octopuses could sweat?

The candy isle! A sugar connoisseurs dream...

"Its translucent color so alluring and taste and aroma so gentle and mellow offer admiring feelings of a graceful lady." IMHO, there is no better candy description.

They're really big on the Domokuns here...

Pac-Man (?!), DragonballZ, and Domokun energy drinks. They unfortunately appeared to have been sold out of the Resident Evil drinks.

More manga books than you could shake a tentacle at...

What'd I tell ya? This is just a small portion of their book store.

Awww...sweet! They have a dedicated Toto section!

Uncategorized Random, shopping

The Virgin Mary seems to make many appearances in various forms, somehow projecting a mystical aura more powerful than Adam Sandler and Ricardo Montalban in their Fantasy Island/SNL prime combined.  But instead of projecting her ethereal image into the heavens above for all to see, or simply haunting a middle-class duplex like a Poltergeist movie gone bad, she instead seems to prefer making her presence known through unimpressive water stains and burnt toast.

These dubious techniques leave much to be desired by the masses expecting a rock ‘n roll laser light show live at buddakan spectacular of miracles and visions.  Instead we’re left to believe in the everlasting love found in the hereafter via signs found in tree stumps and fence posts.

Appearing in the toast of a cheese sandwich, the Virgin Mary gives a shout out to her homies.

The Virgin Mary appears under a freeway underpass.  The faithful turned out in droves swinging bibles and rocking their faith.

Appearing as a blob of chocolate, the Virgin Mary apparently has a place in her heart for candy makers.

Looking prettier than Val Kilmer before he got hit repeatedly about the head and shoulders with an ugly stick, Mary glistens with prismatic rainbow hues in the windows of an office complex.

Tree stump Mary.  I know, I know…I’m rolling my eyes as hard as I can.  Can you feel it?

The Virgin Mary wields supernatural powers, revealing herself to the world in the form of a pretzel.

The Virgin Mary appears in the form of a fence post….comeon, what the heck?  Should I continue wasting my time with this blog post?

Apparently up to date with modern technology, the Virgin Mary appears in an MRI scan.

Imagine the shock and awe of the gardener who discovered the Virgin Mary hiding inside the rotting husk of the next door neighbor’s tree…

Mary appearing on a wicked skipping stone.

Mary, with apparently nothing else to do, appears as a scorch on the bottom of a pizza pan.

Don’t get me wrong.  If you believe that the mother of Jesus Christ has nothing better to do than reveal herself in the crust of your child’s PB&J, then hey, more power to you.  Me, I’d like to think that there is a higher power, but that power has better things to do than show itself to a bunch of fervent faithful in the form of a broken tree branch.  I’d also like to think that it has more insight and intelligence than to frak with us in such a way.

If you do believe in this stuff, then I don’t mean to belittle your faith.  How can I argue faith to a  true believer?  You continue to believe in your cheese sandwich apparitions.  I’ll continue to simply believe that there’s “something” bigger than us out there, and perhaps one day we’ll meet.

Random, Uncategorized, Unusual Sightings mary, virgin mary