Terrible Analogies

There are quite a few topics I’d like to address, but as I sit down to write this post I’m not sure which one to focus on:

1- Air Force One doing a low-level flyover of Manhattan and ground zero.  What moron thought that was a good idea?  Whatever happened to “the buck stops here“?

2- Swine Flu:  What’s the real story?  Why is Mexico taking extreme measures to combat this illness while America sits back and does nothing?  Is this a case of hype over facts?  Did you know that 36,000 Americans die every year because of the flu?  The victims are typically the very young and the very old.  This Swine Flu (no, I’m not going to call it H1N1) seems to be killing people of all ages.  I’m not quite sure what to believe about this illness, but I’m not about to panic.

3 – Arlen Spector: The man who created the “single bullet theory” switches political parties, jumping ship to the Democratic ticket.  This is the same Arlen Spector whose key vote helped pass Obama’s pork-filled stimulus bill.  Face it, he switched sides because he had no chance in hell of being re-elected in the upcoming Republican race.  This is yet another example why nobody should be forced to vote along party lines.

4- The University of Central Florida has developed a new technology which could allow for a single disc to store over 4 terabytes of information.  Call me jaded, but I won’t get excited until I can hold a data crystal in my hands.

But above all of this dire news and political flack one thing really had me questioning my faith in humanity and all that I hold most dear in this world.  I thought I knew everything, that nothing of this magnitude could have possibly escaped my finely honed observational senses for all of these years.

Did you ever notice who the supervising producer of Who’s The Boss was?

You doubt me?  See for yourself:

Sometimes I shock myself at what I find newsworthy…

I have three basic tenets in life that I follow, and thus far they’ve kept me out of trouble.  They are:

1: Don’t get in a fight with a guy who has rolls of skin running down the back of his neck
2: Avoid getting in a property line dispute with a neighbor who has webbed fingers
3: Never dine at a strip mall eatery that offers half off sushi

Call me crazy, but that’s how I roll…

Whelp, it looks like Edgar Mitchell, pilot of Apollo 14 and record holder for the longest moon walk, is set to talk about his UFO experiences at this week’s X-Conference 2009.

I point this out to shamelessly segue way into my own personal “encounter” I had many years ago.

To preface this a bit, let me tell you that I am not a loon, nutter, or whackjob.  I believe the vast majority of people who know me will testify to that belief.  I’m a levelheaded individual that walks with a debunker’s gait, and I’m not easily swayed by the latest hype.  With that being said…

Fifteen (has it been that long?!) years ago I was in my parent’s backyard with my 10″ Dobsonian telescope checking out the Orion Nebula when I saw what I was sure was a satellite slowly tracking across a backdrop of stars.  I watched with interest as this solid point of light steadily arched its way through the sky when suddenly and without warning it changed direction ninety degrees and shot off in a streak of white light, disappearing behind the silhouette of a neighbor’s house.  

My immediate reaction was a cool, “Well, that’s odd.”

And that’s my story.  Fascinating, I know.  I’m still not sure what I saw that night, but I’ve ruled out satellites, planes, meteors, space debris, hallucination, fireworks, and swamp gas from a weather balloon that was trapped in a thermal pocket which refracted light from Venus.

I’m still not sure what it could have been, but I’ve not seen it’s kind since.  I often go camping at Joshua Tree and Anza-Borrego and am quite used to being under an intimidating curtain of stars.  I know what satellites and airplanes look like as they cleave paths through the heavens.  I’ve witnessed my fair share of meteor showers.  Heck, I’ve even seen a plane accident at an air show.  But I’ve never, ever seen anything like what I saw that night many years ago.

Spotted these while cruising around town finalizing our Easter purchases.

I’m not quite sure how to interpret this well dressed pandemonium of pirate monkeys, all of whom are throwing devil horn signs while at the same time sporting a Fonzie-esque thumbs up.  

In the dark recesses and meandering alleyways of my addled brain I’m sure there’s a small region where reason and cognizance intersect to form an enlightened understanding of the original artist’s intended message, but I’ll be darned if I can’t get my neurons to wrap themselves around this image.  

Unbeknownest to me, the wife responded to the folks at Michelina’s Budget Gourmet after they apparently read my initial post detailing the huge bug she found in her frozen dinner.  Michelina’s not only apologized for this unfortunate incident, they provided her with a check to refund the purchase price of this defective product and sent her coupons for five free entree meals.  Click  the letter to embiggen…  

It’s nice to see a company attempt to make amends, going so far as to having the Chairman himself sign the apology letter.  They’ve done what any reasonable company should, and for that we applaud them.  I’m sure there are countless suppliers from which they obtain their raw products, so it’s understandable that something such as our “bug incident” could slip past quality control.

Now, don’t get me wrong…we’re still quite disgusted by finding this bug in one of their products, but we’re not going to keep beating the drums of dispair for the simple reason that Michelina’s / Belliso Foods not only went out of their way to get in touch with us, but also honestly apologized without any prodding on our part, and made right on the situation.  

My initial post regarding this incident was to shame a faceless corporation, but after being in contact with them and seeing firsthand how they immediately tackle tough situations, taking the initiative to quickly resolve and correct deficiencies, and strive to ensure future incidents are not repeated, Belliso Foods is to be commended for making the best out of an unfortunate situation.

The wife feels much better about this, and thanks you for your multiple e-mails and your letter.  It’s obvious, though her communications with you, that you’re truly concerned about this incident, and that changes will be made to ensure that future situations will not occur.  

Lip service or not?  I’m sure, in the end, we’ll all find out.

Now, if only all other businesses followed their excellent example.