Terrible Analogies

So there I was, minding my own business, tearing around the local industrial park in my S2000 yesterday afternoon, running over squirrels, cutting elderly people off, and parking in every handicap spot I could find when my clutch pedal starting feeling a little spongy.  I had to push the pedal almost to the floorboards to change gears.  Today during lunch I could barely get my car into reverse.  I could tell in my heart of hearts that this did not bode well for me or my wallet.

Jamming out of work a bit early, I dropped my car off at the mechanic and picked up a rental.  Then, the waiting game for “the call” began.  Luckily I didn’t have to wait long to get the bad news.  Turns out my master cylinders are shot.  Leaking.  Dying the slow death.  ”Oh, and by the way,” the mechanic said in a whispery, purring tone, “your rear brakes need replacing.”

And so, to make a long story stuffy, that’s how I spent $800 in the course of an hour.

Oh, and the rental car I managed to pick up from Hertz is a Nissan Rogue.

I felt lucky to get this rental.  It was the end of the day and this was the last vehicle left.  Throwing my computer bag on the passenger seat I buckled in and was immediately overcome with the smell of cigarette smoke.  Looking around the car at that first stop light I could see that this car was covered in ash.

Way to keep your cars clean, Hertz.

Pulling into the garage I took a second to reprogram all of the spanish channels to something a bit more appropriate, cut the engine, and resigned myself to the fact that tomorrow I’ll be $800 poorer and smelling like a cigarette.

I miss my car so much…

Tooling down the freeway on my way home this afternoon I noticed a car in the left lane in front of me with it’s blinkers on, hoping to merge into my lane, and getting the short shrift from the other drivers in front of me.  My one rule while driving is ‘use your blinkers’.  I have no sympathy for someone who’s weaving in and out of traffic and not using turn their turn indicators.

Anyway….this person was hoping to merge in and wasn’t having much luck.  As they neared me I slowed down to allow a gap into which they could merge.  They did so, and waved “thanks”.  That, I think, is a wonderful thing to do when someone cuts you a break, doesn’t act like a jerk, and actually shares the road.  That “wave” that perhaps only one in ten people do is akin to when truckers flash their brake lights at you because you flashed your headlights to let them know that they can merge into traffic in front of you.  It’s a reward for the just and an impetus to keep on doing the right thing.

I personally don’t think enough people do the “wave”.  Perhaps it’s a sense of entitlement, that some people believe they actually own the road, and that somehow forbids them from thanking a helpful stranger.  Perhaps today’s society has just become cold and crass, and waving a quick “thanks” doesn’t even enter into the equation.  Or perhaps it’s a combination of ignorance and self-centeredness that certain people just don’t believe in a friendly wave when it’s due.  

Whatever the cause, a quick wave certainly makes that long daily drive home a far more tolerable experience.

The “wave”.  Do it today.  Make someone feel good.

Apparently, drivers in New Zealand are incapable of slowing down when it rains.  The problem, I’m to assume, is so severe that an advertising agency has created billboards that bleed in an attempt draw attention to the issue.

Eye-catching, to say the least.  I have to wonder, though, if it’s too distracting.  Here in California we have the Amber Alert system that activates electronic signs along the highways that are meant to convey critical information when a child is abducted (or something else equally heinous) and the cops need people to keep an eye out for suspect vehicles.  When these signs are on, people lose their minds.  They begin to drift into other lanes and become incapable of traveling at a safe speed.

I can only imagine how people in New Zealand will react when they spot these bleeding billboards for the first time.  At night.  In the rain.  With an eerie song playing on the car radio.

I was on autopilot driving to work half awake this morning when I finally noticed that the make and model of the car I had been blindly following for the past five miles was a Toyota Avalon.  ”Avalon, huh?” I thought to myself.  ”Interesting name for a car.”

And that got me thinking, what other odd or unusual things are cars named after?

Browsing through Edmunds and cross-referencing online sources I managed to cobble together this small list of automobile makes and models:

Buick Enclave
Enclave: An enclosed territory that is culturally distinct from the foreign territory that surrounds it.

Buick LaCrosse
LaCrosse: The game of the hooked stick

Buick Lucerne
Lucerne: Latin meaning “circle of light”
Also: Capital of Lucerne canton (small territorial division of a country) in Switzerland

Cadillac Escalade
Escalade: An Act of scaling especially the walls of a fortification

Chevrolet Aveo
Aveo: To strongly desire, to crave something or somebody
Also: Latin form of salutation

Hyundai Sonata
Sonata: A composition of one or more solo instruments, one of which is usually a keyboard instrument

Kia Forte
Forte: Something in which a person excels
Also: A strong part of a sword blade, between the middle and the hilt

Kia Rondo
Rondo: A musical composition built on the alternation of a principal recurring theme and contrasting episodes

Mercury Grand Marquis
Grand Marquis:  Marquis = a person who ruled on the lands situated on the border of a realm.  

Mitsubishi Galant
Galant: Russian hygienist
Also: French – 18th century musical term to describe a simpler, elegant musical style favored by, for example, Bach and early Mozart

Porche Cayenne
Cayanne: A plant bearing very hot and finely tapering long peppers

Saturn Astra
Astra: Latin for “star”

Toyota Avalon
Avalon: In Arthurian legend, an island paradise in the western seas to which King Arthur went at his death

Toyota Camry
Camry: Phonetic transcription of the Japanese word kamuri, which means “crown”

Toyota Corolla
Corolla: The whorl of petals of a flower that collectively form an inner floral envelope or layer of the perianth

Personally, I’d feel odd about driving a Cadillac “Wall Climber” or a Toyota “Flower Petal”.

There are two simple rules I follow in life:

• Never taunt a guy with skin rolls on the back of his neck
• If you don’t use a turn signal on the highway, don’t expect me to let you in

I’m amazed at how difficult some people find it to move their finger one inch to activate a turn signal.  And I find it even more amazing that these same people get upset when others don’t bend over backwards to let them change lanes when they fail to indicate a change in direction.

A turn signal is used to safely indicate a lane change and/or to warn others that your forward momentum will be coming to a halt in the immediate future.  Turn signals help traffic run smoothly and helps people avoid accidents.  If you give me a turn signal I’ll go out of my way to let you slide into my lane.  If you don’t signal then don’t get upset because I’m acing you out of what I can only assume is the space you believe your entitled to.

Prime example of this in action was last Friday night.  I’m in the exiting lane of a freeway and was coming up on a mercedes ahead of me in the left hand lane that was traveling slower than the surrounding traffic.  No turn signal.  No nuthin’.  I pass him, and as I’m doing so he honks his horn and quickly pulls in behind me.  In my rearview I can see his silhouetted form flipping me off.

I’m no mind reader.  How could I have known that he wanted to change lanes in front of me?   I fail to understand the logic of these people.  I know we all occasionally do stupid things while zoning out during a long drive, but please understand that driving is not a spectator sport, and it’s not a game of chess.  Little things like failing to use a turn indicator provides a tiny little window to your psyche, letting us see first hand how you tend to treat others privately and professionally.  If you have so little respect for your fellow motorists, why should we respect you?