Terrible Analogies

I drove over to the local mall during lunch today, and as soon as I hit the parking lot I knew I had made a terrible mistake. As expected the traffic in the parking lot was bad, but that anticipated nightmare was compounded by the ingeniously positioned four-way stop near the entrance that, for whatever reason, people simply can not handle. When encountering such an obstacle it seems as if most people lose their minds and find it impossible to properly negotiate their way through.

Once past the intersection I had to find a parking spot. Thinking I’d be smart, I headed to the usually deserted upper deck of the parking structure, but was disheartened to discover that I wasn’t the only one taking this tact. It was so crowded that even the handi-capable people were parking up here and slowly ambling their way down the steep arterial decline that spills them to heart the mall.

Twenty minutes later I finally succeeded in locating a spot between a BMW with a fraternity sticker on the rear window, and what appeard to be a monster truck jacked up on steroids with mud flaps emblazoned with silhouettes of naked angel & devil women (what’s up with these anyway? Why do I see them all over nowadays?).

What happened next, as far as I can recall, was a blurry haze of frenzied shoppers, aggressive kiosk owners, dirty/greasy smells from the food court, overpriced crap far out of my budget, people standing in the middle of the aisles talking on their cell phones (are you idiots not aware of your surroundings?), hastily thrown together pop-up stores, cat calendars, near-subliminal advertising passively seeping through the overhead speakers, faded holiday decorations recycled from years past hanging in storefront windows, and an aching feeling in my bones that I’m simply being taking for another overhyped holiday joyride ride again.

And it seems, for yet another year, that I’m complaining about this.  Pitiful…

Forgive me…I just had to vent.  I think I’ll crack open a beer and settle down to a viewing of Inglorious Basterds.  That should cheer me up and set me right.

Blu-ray, Rant, holiday Blu-ray, holiday, Rant

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone out there!  I hope you enjoy your vacation away from work, your Thanksgiving feast (no matter how large or small), and the good cheer and company of family and/or friends.  I’m going to take a well-deserved step back from the blog to enjoy this much needed downtime.  I’ve been looking forward to catching up on some reading and hitting a few running trails.  Will see you back here bright and early Monday morning. 

In the meantime, if you’re running behind on your turkey cooking duties, might I suggest thermite?

holiday, video holiday, video

Here’s hoping you don’t get any razor blades in your candy this year:

Horror Movies Pumpkin Carving
Mealy Monster Land  -  My Living Nightmare Of Encouragement
20 Amazing Pumpkin Carvings  -  Meat Hand  -  Panic Face King
Halloween Closed  -  Halloween Cocktails  -  Egg Ghost
Couple Takes Gravestones To Build Patio  - Walmart Caskets
Halloween Hoodies  -  The Best Halloween Costume – 80′s Halloween Songs
5 Creepy Halloween Candies –  Aurora Monster Models  -  Shrunken Apple Heads

Happy Halloween, everyone!  

holiday holiday

There’s been quite a bit of talk these past few days regarding a halloween costume called “Illegal Alien Adult Costume”, manufactured by Forum novelties.  Frankly, I don’t see what all the fuss is about:

Apparently the immigration activists are up in arms about this costume, strutting around in feigned exasperation and anger, because they perceive this costume as an attempt to mock illegal immigrants.  Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but this costume appears to be of an extraterrestrial in an orange jumpsuit.  On the jumpsuit of this extraterrestrial are the stenciled words “Illegal Alien”.

Get it?  Extraterrestrial.  Alien.  Hence, “Illegal Alien”.

How is this a swipe at terrestrial illegal aliens?

I think that the Coalition for Humane Immigrant Rights of Los Angeles, the people most “offended” by this costume, lack a sense of humor.  Honestly, if they want to play this game, let’s be fair across the board and demand that stores stop selling other tasteless, inflammatory, and offensive costumes such as:

The Indian snake charmer costume

The African-American costume

The Japanese sumo wrestler

and the ugly America tourist costume.

Where is the “anger” and “frustration” from any activist group regarding these costumes?  Each and every one of them takes a condescending, disparaging dig at stereotypes, belittling a wide swath of the American populace, yet I don’t hear word one from any so-call activist group demanding that these costumes be removed from any and all stores immediately, and that a public formal apology be offered to anybody who might have been offended by these vulgar, objectionable costumes.

Come on, guys.  It’s either all or nothing.  Where do the activists stand on this?  Do they at all?  Or is this a case of them cherry picking a “so called” controversy to drum up support for their pet cause?  What if this alien costume was trying to bring to light the issue of German, Swedish, or Samoan illegal immigration?  Why does the Coalition for Humane Immigrant Rights of Los Angeles automatically assume that this costume is poking fun at Mexican illegal aliens?  I wonder…

Politics, Rant, holiday holiday, Politics, Rant

…when the local grocery store is tempting you with a huge display of Count Chocula, Boo Berry, and Franken Berry (my personal favorite) cereals.  I, being the weak-willed influential chump that I am, purchased one of each.  Yay for me!

And so, in keeping with the Halloween spirit, Karin and I have begun to crack into our Halloween boxes of goodies.  We’ve got the spiders, skulls, eyeballs, bats, creepy crawlies, laser lights, strobe lights, and gobos out and ready for use.  

Unpacking one of our Halloween boxes. Now, if only I can find that stash of spiderwebs...

We’re planning on a small get-together the week before Halloween proper to share in some spooky food & drink and a blu-ray screening of The Nightmare Before Christmas.  On Halloween night, be sure to drop by for some great swag!

Oh, and…as an aside, have you tried the new Dole Pineapple & Creme and the Peaches & Creme?  Let me tells ya, that’s some good stuff.  I know this is totally off-topic, but check it out next time you’re at the grocery store.

holiday holiday