Terrible Analogies

Working a bit of overtime a couple of weeks ago, I was trapped inside on a beautiful Saturday afternoon staring at a computer screen, working on my fluorescent tan in cubicle hell, asking myself who I could have possibly offended in a previous lifetime to have earned this dubious position in life. Finally, after many hours of carefully treading that fine line between numbing boredom and maniacal rage, I let out a muffled, desperate huff, threw my hands above my head, stood up and stomped my way out of the office to grab a breath of fresh air.

Spying an inviting bench on the far side of the lawn, I thought I’d sit for a spell and take in a few minutes of scenery that this carefully position piece of cement future must offer.  I mean, why else was it placed there if not to offer a key vantage point to a vast expanse that showcases the meshing of man and his environment?

Taking a seat, I let out a slight sigh of relief from the pressures of my daily duties.  Anxious to unwind I looked up, expecting to be awed and humbled by a scenic vista spreading out before me, but instead I was greeted with this sad sight:

Hmmm, not exactly what I was hoping for.  Standing up and moving three feet to my left revealed the panorama I had been expecting to see:

I swear, next weekend I’m bringing my own hedge trimmers…

Landmarks, Work Landmarks, Work

Whelp, tonight wraps up our grand tour of Wisconsin.  The wife has successfully caught up with friends and family, and as we head back to sunny San Diego we’re left with the feeling that we’ll be missing all of the kind, honest people we’ve seen this past week.  The suitcases are packed up, the alarm is set for 4am, and the plane tickets are at the ready.  

And so, with a fond “farewell”, we bid adieu to Widmer’s Cheese factory (awesome cheese!),

Dr. Myerson’s teeth,

the John Deere factory,

the never ending fields of corn and soy beans,

Amish literature,

and last, but not least, this orange moose:

That, in a nutshell my friends, is Wisconsin.

Landmarks, Unusual Sightings, Vacation Landmarks, Unusual Sightings, Vacation

Today we traversed the wilds of Wisconsin, barreling through the invisible border into Minnesota at 85 per, eventually skidding to a stop in the parking lot of the jewel of the midwest…the Mall Of America.

Anxious to see what this side of the country considers their Disneyland, their Taj Majal, their very Mecca itself, we braced ourselves for close contact with NASCAR aficionados, recent Favre converts, and rugged ranch hand farmers.  Oddly enough, contrary to our misguided preconceived big-city notions, we had a great time.

I’ve heard a lot about the Mall Of America, and wasn’t about to pass up an opportunity to travel a scant five hours via car to take bask in its capitalistic glory.

Upon first entering this uniquely American mosque, we found ourselves swimming in a sea of rabid scrap bookers queued up by the hundreds, each hoping to secure a spot in a seminar being hosted by the Home Shopping Channel.  While the women were standing in various lines waiting to take part in either scrap booking classes or partake in scrap booking business transactions, the husbands were busy doing this:

Poor guys.  I sympathize.  Soldier on, brothers…  

But, after making our way past this madness, rounding a few corners, and valiantly avoiding the Orange Julius stand (mmmm….Orange Julius!), we were greeted with the main attraction of this particular mall (click to embiggen):

The central amusement park!  Like a overactive child fresh off his meds and flying high on a can of Coke and two bowls of Lucky Charms, I broke free and headed straight for the ride that had the most screaming:

The Rock Bottom Plunge offers a 90º free-fall drop, speeding into a tight loop, over various twists and turns, and straight into my palpitating heart.  This, the Avatar Airbender ride, and the Fairly Odd Coaster were the big “E” ticket rides, and the wait for each was mere minutes.  

The Flying Dutchman, guarding his towering wall climbing attraction.

After taking in the rides, if you’re feeling the romantic urge to get married, there’s a chapel on the grounds that provides just such a service:

And so, with the power of 20/20 hindsight, if I had to give the Mall Of America a rating of 1-10, I’d have to give it a solid ‘B’.  I feel sorry for the families who make this hive of activity their vacation destination.  But for the curious and the bored, the Mall Of America offers enough distractions to fill an afternoon.

Arcade Game, Landmarks, Vacation, holiday Landmarks, Vacation

The process for obtaining a permit to hike Mt. Whitney is a bit convoluted, and relies on punctual form submission, proper request format, pre-payment, and pure dumb luck to come out a winner.  The US Forest Service limits the amount of people allowed on the mountain each day, and because the demand for permits is extremely high a lottery system was introduced to be as fair as possible to all applicants.  The lottery drawing begins on February 17th, with the winners and losers notified via mail in April.

As luck would have it, this past Friday I received an envelope in the mail containing one of these:

Awww Yeah!  I actually won a spot on the mountain.  Looks like my training won’t be in vain.  I’ll see you up at 14,500ft in September!  The plan is to run up and down Mt. Whitney Trail (22 miles) in under 8 hours.  As you can see I have an extra spot open on my reservation.  Want to come along?

UPDATE 9/9/09: I’ve successfully completed my Mt. Whitney run.  See this post for details and photos!

Landmarks, Running, Sports california, camping, Landmarks, Running, Sports

For the past four days I’ve been sick.  When I say sick I mean sick. My body has felt like flaccid lukewarm Jell-O, and my mind has been as blank and confused as the local public access channel on a slow Tuesday afternoon.  Today, for the first time in days, I’ve felt well enough to expand my horizons beyond feeble baby steps around the backyard.  

As if on queue Karin piped up with, “Why don’t we go to Carrillo?  It should be an easy walk, and it’ll be good to get you in the sun for a bit.”  Before I could raise any form of concern, she had somehow shuffled me into the car like an invalid with a head full of Xanax, and had spirited me away to destinations unknown.

I think she suckered me into this trip my saying, “It’ll be a good chance to break out your D200“. She knows knows my weaknesses all too well…

Twenty minutes later we’re walking hand-in-hand down a pleasant trail under the afternoon sun surrounded by blossoming desert plants, beautiful 1940′s era spanish-inspired buildings and, surprisingly enough, peacocks.  

For someone who has been as sick as I have for the past few days, Leo Carrillo was an excellent way to reintroduce me to the outside world.  It’s free to visit, so the price was right, and there’s a free guided tour if you’re willing to spend an hour learning the unique history behind this beautiful park. Donations are accepted and are well deserved.

Oh, and if you’re curious, I blame the brother-in-law for getting me sick.  The wife and I had a game night with he and my sister last week (Robo Rally!), and he mentioned offhandedly sometime during gameplay that we was feeling “under the weather”.  Believe me, that was the understatement of the year…

Eh, what can ya do.  He’s a good guy and I love ‘em.  He is, after all, “mi bruddah”, and he treats my sister very well!  The man has my respect, and from me that’s hard to come by.

The door to the Wash House

One of several examples of arched doorways in the park

The Cantina

One of the many peacocks running around the grounds

Landmarks Landmarks, photography