Terrible Analogies

I had a dream last night about a dog that was made of grass.  It looked like a cross between a Bull Terrier and a Labrador, with a squat face and pointed muzzle, and it seemed to be very happy about my presence.  It had deep expressive eye sockets, but no eyes.  On a front paw I could make out a small ring of delicate mushrooms, and hanging from its belly was a modest clutch of dandelions gone to seed.  It was circling me, wagging its grassy doggy tail and staring up at me expectantly with those dark, turfy, eyeless sockets.  Green drool was dripping from its drooping, verdant tongue and onto my white shoes, leaving behind explosive emerald Rorschach blotches.  In one I could see two whales dancing, and in another an angel performing a swan dive.

Slowly, my green shaggy friend began to change in color.  Traces of tan spread like tendrils across its body.  The grassy tail stopped wagging.  Somberly it turned away from me, and the dog made of grass walked across our perfectly manicured lawn world and through a weather-worn white wooden gate that guarded nothing in particular, where it laid down, rested its now drab muzzle on a still-green paw, and remained motionless.  Its vibrant green body had turned the color of dry wheat.  Unable to hold the shape of a dog any longer, it was now nothing more than a small pile of brown grass slowly being scattered by the flutter of the afternoon breeze.

Looking down at my stained shoes I noticed a colorful dandelion growing in the grass between my feet, gently swaying in the sunset of the dying wind.

Karin is five months along in the pregnancy, which means another round of sonograms to see how everything is progressing.  The good news is that the baby doesn’t have two heads, which was a strangely bizarre concern of mine.  With that worry put to rest, the sonogram lady (do those people have job titles?), gave us another bit of good news…it’s a boy!

Profile of our strapping young lad

I really couldn’t care less if we were going to have a boy or a girl, just as long as it was healthy.  I guess it’s the desire of every dad to have a son, and I really was no exception.  I guess now that we know the sex of the baby, we can begin to decorate the baby’s room and lock up all of my toys.  That darn kid isn’t getting within ten feet of my Star Wars collection

…that I’ve been seriously slacking on the posting this week.  My lack of ambition, motivation, and drive have been sucked dry by work.  It’s strange how, after a long vacation, things tend to stack up when you’re not looking.  I’m afraid my once shining example of what one man can do given a infinite amount of time and a grip-load of anonymity has spiraled out of control, reaching an ever-deepening, suffocating nadir.  

But tremble and cower before my pitiful blog, for next week I bring some very interesting news from the family front.  And no, it’s not about the bum fight I saw on the street corner yesterday (even though I did have $5 on the guy with the crazy beard), nor about the hitchhiker walking down the freeway at one in the morning sportin’ an impressive mohawk.  Tune in on Monday for the nasty, dirty details.

And so, in honor of this wasted week, let me present you with 100 of the greatest hits of youtube.  This sort video packs more entertainment in four minutes that I have all week long…
 

Wow…200 posts already?  It’s amazing how quickly time goes by, and how quickly the posts add up.  It’s been my goal to post something new every weekday, and for the exception of those few days I took off to travel up to Sea Ranch, I’ve accomplished (so far) what I started out to do. *knock on wood*

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that not all of my posts have been winners.  In fact, I’ll go on record as stating that the amount of duds far exceeds the amount gold, but through the sickness, the doubt, the good times and the bad, I’ve made it to my 200th post and that, my friends, deserves a shot of Jack.  

I’d like to quickly thank a few people who kept me going.  Through their kinds words and inspiration I’ve trudged through “the wall” more times than I care to admit.  And so, with that foreword, I’d like to thank:

- The House Of Husar: The man, the myth, the legend.  Dedicated to family, friends, biking, and beer, Ed was gracious enough to even shoot me a personal e-mail or two.  Ed, many thanks!  

- Magick Sandwich: Kathcom, the genius behind MS, tells it like it is, pulls no punches, and has a wicked sense of humor.  In a fire fight, I’d want Kathcom to watch my back.

- Madlab Post: Many thanks for naming me one of your Badass Bloggers, and for the personal communications.  You, my friend, deserve a freakin’ medal!

- When Pigs Fly: Seriously, one of the many standout blogs that I don’t deserve to even read, much less comment on.  Thanks for keeping up to date on my blog, Jen.  And for commenting as many times as you do, you’re truly an inspiration.  So….when are you going to be published?!

- WannaSmile:  I swear, you’re the sunshine on my daily dealings with the darkness that is the Internet.  Keep it up C!  Without you, there is no lighter side.  Oh, and Nemesis says, “Meow!”  She said you’d know what it means.

- The Hyperactive Gadfly: Brother, you have the life.  Wish I could go on a training run with ya!  I punish myself on my training runs in an effort to keep up with you.  Thanks for keeping in touch, brother!

- Totally Useless: I stumbled across your blog by accident, and have been glued to it ever since.  Your insights and beautiful camera work just keep me coming back.  Your replies to comments on yours site, and your commenting on my blog, have made this whole journey a rewarding one.

- Life Just Keeps Getting Weirder: Last but not least, I’d like to thank Jen for her humor, and for being just a huge presence on the web she still takes the time to occasionally comment on my lil’ blog.  Jen…many, many thanks for your contributions!  You, my friend, rock so hard ain’t no time to roll…

I’d like to also thank Mr. Zippy Cup (and his many guises), Boris and Rachael for our music “club”, James for being the “best man”, Crazy Leonard for his private and, er…”inspirational?” e-mails, Bryan M. for catching of my stupid typos and mathematical errors (seriously, thanks!), and for Dan over at Regruntled.  Even though we had a falling out, Ed doesn’t pretend to be who he isn’t.  At least you know where he stands, and I commend that.

And to my amazing wife Karin, who understand the blogging obsession, and gladly gives me the time I need every night to make an ass of myself with each and every post!

For anyone that I might have missed, blame it on the Jack because tonight, we’re celebrating!  Here’s to my upcoming 300th post!  Woot!

I love music.

It wasn’t until I started attending high school that I really fell in love with music.  When I was a kid I listend to the radio and spun a few Kiss albums.  That was about it.  I was a sheltered child, I know.  When I started high school I abandoned the bus in favor of a daily car ride from an older friend of the family who was in his final year of high school. 

This friend had a healthy collection of cassette tapes in his car, and every day I was exposed to music I had never heard of before; music by bands such as The Cramps, Kraftwerk, David Bowie, Bauhaus, The Jam, The Damned, Operation Ivy, Yello, Agent Orange, Talking Heads, The Stranglers, Violent Femmes, The Replacements, and Sisters Of Mercy flowed over me and  through me.  I was absorbed, entranced, and joyfully enraptured by it.  These artists (and many, many more) helped me to define myself in a way that nobody and nothing else could.

Into the trash went the radio, and in its stead stood a larger dual-cassette tape deck with 8″ speakers.  I finished high school and started college.  Around that time I began to collect compact discs.  This was the era of Nine Inch Nails, Pop Will Eat Itself, Ministry, Nitzer Ebb, Elvis Costello, and Jane’s Addiction.  I finished my first year of college but somehow felt as if I was missing…something. 

I was unsure whether or not to join the priesthood, team up with the Peace Corp, or become a circus carnie.  I looked at all of my options then decided to enlist in the Air Force, hoping to find some direction in life.  It was during time this that I purchased a huge component stereo system with giant Infinity floor-standing speakers through which I blasted Nirvana, Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Descendents, Smashing Pumpkins, Jesus Jones, STP, Live, The Pursuit Of Happiness, and Primus.  Needless to say, the military didn’t completely destroy my soul nor my love of music.

A lifetime of music in one location

Four years later I found myself back in the real world and involved in computers.  I picked up a Macintosh G4 and began to digitize my now extensive CD collection.  I got into mobile DJing, playing gigs around town for a year before running out of time, patience, and energy.  I sold my gear and picked up my first iPod, then finished college (I guess it was a case of “music first, education second”).  And now, here I am, years older and more than a bit wiser, yet still in love with music. 

Some will say that the music of today doesn’t compare to music from our younger days, but I have to disagree.  Those who say such things really don’t put any effort into finding the great bands that exist right here, right now.  If you haven’t heard any good music lately, then may I suggest you give a listen to Underworld, Muse, Death Cab For Cutie, Eels, The Avett Brothers (a bit of country/folk never hurt anyone), Wax Tailor, As Cities Burn, Wilco, Vampire Weekend, The Shins, Andrew Bird, The Whitest Boy Alive, Rotersand, Decemberists, and The Editors?  Go on…just give ‘em a shot.

And now that I think about it, the evolution in the way we consume music has dramatically changed.  For me it began with a small radio, then a boom box, a full-fledged stereo system, then finally on to a quad-speaker DJ system.  Eventually the whole kit shrunk down to a tiny iPod, with my entire collection housed on a hard drive connected to a computer based system with powered speakers.  Music started with the LP, then the cassette (I skipped the 8-Track on purpose because, frankly, I never owned one), then the CD, then the physical media disappeared completely, replaced by digital code.  Record stores are now few and far between, replaced with WalMarts and online services.  I wonder how my kids will listen to their music.  Personally I’m hoping for data crystals and in-ear bone speakers.

It’s amazing how drastically things can change, yet the music keeps playing on.