This weekend Karin took the kid out to dinner to show him off to some friends. Feeling a bit lonely, I decided to google the word “alone”. This is what I found:
1. Alone
What you’re not. Although it may seem like there is nobody there who cares about you, who is like you, or can be a friend to you, there is someone miles and miles away who would like to be there with you if they knew you were calling.
This is a message to all of the lonely and depressed people out there on their computers, reading definitions of words they’re feeling in hopes to find some comfort, if only for a short while. Regardless of whether you’re reading this in five weeks or in five years, and regardless of whether I’m still browsing this site regularly or dead in a car crash, just know that tonight, I was feeling very lonely, crying out for you.
You’re not alone. I’m not alone. We’re not alone
Thanks Urban Dictionary for making me feel a little less lonely. 
I was taking to a friend at work today when I mentioned the words “daylight savings time”. He, acting all smug, corrected me saying, “It’s pronounced daylight saving time.” Stunned by the sudden admonishment, I pulled up Webster and pointed out the following:
Main Entry: daylight saving time
Function: noun
Date: 1919
: time usually one hour ahead of standard time —called also daylight saving, daylight savings, daylight savings time, daylight time
Oh….in your face, hipster tier 3 guy! It’ll always be “savings” to me.
Speaking of DST, I move that we change the time that we move the clocks ahead one hour to 4pm on Friday. Sure, it’ll suck when we have to move the clocks back an hour, but that just means one extra hour of overtime. In my eyes, that’s a win/win.
It’s amazing how poorly Californians react to bad weather. If we get more than an eighth of an inch of rain we firmly believe the world is about to end; that we stand upon the precipice of painful inconvenience and total annihilation. We’re unsure which direction in which to fall, often opting for the worse of the two as we blindly thrash and gnaw in the unfamiliar confines of our temporary misfortune.
Take me for instance. I awoke this morning at 5am for the sole purpose of getting into work at 6am just so I could leave early to avoid the afternoon traffic and predicted early evening squalls that would surely portend our certain doom.
Man, we’re a weak, reactionary lot, we Californians.
And as I write this, the end times have yet to befall our tiny corner of reality. The rains have not carried us away to our ultimate reward. Though a severe bout of fat rain and a bit of hail have managed to visit us, we’ve yet to see the thunderous hell storm that the news has been projecting and carefully nurturing in our tiny little brains these past few days. I can’t tell you how used I feel. Like a one night stand forced to endure the walk of shame down the dark, narrow hallway of some anonymous fraternity, mocked and scorned for fervently believing every sultry, filthy lie I had been told, my skin crawled with humility and remorse for unquestioningly swallowing their lies.
I don’t think I’d fare well in a state that had actual seasons. Snow would definitely send me over the edge…
Karin bought me a bunch of bananas because they had this sticker adhered to their skins:
Ya know, it’s the fact that Karin thought I’d enjoy them because of the monkey sticker that made me smile. She knows me too well. It’s these simple things that make me realize I have the greatest wife in the world…
Categories: Books, Computer, holiday, Movies, Music, Politics, Random Tags: Books, Computer, Movies, Politics, Random
