Terrible Analogies

Whelp…it’s happened again.  Some lowlife piece of waste duct taped a cat from head to tail, then threw it over a fence and into a vacant lot, leaving it to die.  And again I must ask, “What the frack is wrong with people?”.  What kind of mental defective piece of human garbage could be so cruel to another living thing?  Is this what the world is coming to, where psychotic behavior such as this is becoming more and more prevalent?

And I don’t think this was a case of a feral animal playing the role of the victim here.  If you watch the clip from this link, you’ll see how happy and well behaved this cat is.  Doing something so wretched and foul to an animal such as this goes beyond the unthinkable.  I can only hope that karma catches up to this individual, delivering him/her a healthy case of what for.

Now, don’t get me wrong here.  I’m not condoning violence on the guilty party here (yeah, right), but I can totally understand why mob rule was such a driving force in the old west days.  Back then when somebody did something so heinous which transcended all rational thought, a group of citizens would rise up en masse, grab their torches, and march on down to the jail and demand that the prisoner be turned over to them for some good old fashioned street justice.  

I get it that some of my readers would consider this animal as “just a cat”, but this sort of behavior points to some deeper set form of pathos that only a swift kick in the ass can correct.

Oh, come on now…that has got to be a put on.  Somebody is pulling my leg, yankin’ my chain, and putting one over on me.  This must to be a joke:

Now, I know that CNN.com isn’t the bastion of deep think that they wish they were, but did someone over there actually think that this was a solid enough of a story to give it pictorial front page coverage?  Jeezy Creezy…of course exercise makes you hungry.  You’re converting stored energy into movement, thus requiring your body to replenish its spent supplies, but exercise does not make you chow down on pork rinds, Big Macs, or sugary soda drinks.

To quote from this ridiculous “article”:

But like many other people, I get hungry after I exercise, so I often eat more on the days I work out than on the days I don’t. Could exercise actually be keeping me from losing weight? 

Listen to me Mr. John Cloud (if that is indeed your real name), I’ll repeat: Exercise does not make you fat.  Your eating habits do.  

Put down the Cheetos, step away from the Slim Jims, and push yourself back from the deep dish pizza.  

Exercise is good for you.  If you don’t believe that to be an absolute truth, Mr. Cloud, then you’re more obtuse than I give you credit for.  Seriously, I believe the “WTF” tag was created for stories just like these.  Man…they’ll let anybody write for CNN / Time nowadays, won’t they?

Hey, I have a nifty idea.  Give me the opportunity to contribute an article to CNN.  I have several solid leads that would make for banner headlines; drinking water leads to hydration, puppies and kittens are cute ‘n cuddly, and skydivers jump out of perfectly good aeroplanes (yes, John Cloud, that’s spelled correctly).  Don’t ask where I get these Earth-shattering stories from.  I refuse to give up my sources, and will protect them to the death.  I swear, on the holy FSM, that I’ll make more sense than this John Cloud character.

So…whatdoyasay CNN…do I gots the job?

So there I was, minding my own business, tearing around the local industrial park in my S2000 yesterday afternoon, running over squirrels, cutting elderly people off, and parking in every handicap spot I could find when my clutch pedal starting feeling a little spongy.  I had to push the pedal almost to the floorboards to change gears.  Today during lunch I could barely get my car into reverse.  I could tell in my heart of hearts that this did not bode well for me or my wallet.

Jamming out of work a bit early, I dropped my car off at the mechanic and picked up a rental.  Then, the waiting game for “the call” began.  Luckily I didn’t have to wait long to get the bad news.  Turns out my master cylinders are shot.  Leaking.  Dying the slow death.  ”Oh, and by the way,” the mechanic said in a whispery, purring tone, “your rear brakes need replacing.”

And so, to make a long story stuffy, that’s how I spent $800 in the course of an hour.

Oh, and the rental car I managed to pick up from Hertz is a Nissan Rogue.

I felt lucky to get this rental.  It was the end of the day and this was the last vehicle left.  Throwing my computer bag on the passenger seat I buckled in and was immediately overcome with the smell of cigarette smoke.  Looking around the car at that first stop light I could see that this car was covered in ash.

Way to keep your cars clean, Hertz.

Pulling into the garage I took a second to reprogram all of the spanish channels to something a bit more appropriate, cut the engine, and resigned myself to the fact that tomorrow I’ll be $800 poorer and smelling like a cigarette.

I miss my car so much…

Traffic was an absolute mess this afternoon.  With an explosion on the 15 South, and a junker truck on the 15 North dropping what looked like scrap metal on to the road with every bump and slight nudge, nobody was going anywhere fast.  After 20 minutes of stop-and-go madness, I felt like getting out of my car and laying down some hurt on the nearest (not so) innocent civilian.

But then again, that’s just not my style. I think Kevin has the right idea:

Cock it back, Kevin…

I was driving home yesterday, listening to the radio, when I heard this story about a 14 year old girl who broke into an ex-friends house, ransacked the place, and grabbed a few items to steal. Then, before leaving, picked up the ex-friend’s kitten, threw it in the oven, and cracked it up to 500 degrees before fleeing the scene.

The kitten died. It burned beyond recognition. It was so disfigured, one could not even tell the gender of the animal.

When asked why she did this, she replied, “Because I hate cats.”

It disgusts me to hear a story like this.  What kind of sick person could do something so horrific to such a helpless, fragile animal?  An animal who, quite possibly, ran to her side in awkward, fumbling kitten steps, looking for a treat or a loving pat on the head.   What twisted soul is capable of such extreme brutality?  

I find this so offensive because animals like dogs and cats bond with humans.  They have emotions that are readily apparent, rubbing up against us, licking us, wagging their tails, sleeping with us at night.  They love and depend on us.  Some bonds are so tight that the loss of a pet can be as bad as the loss of any other family member.

For someone to abuse an animal takes a special kind of inner turmoil, a singularly unique type of evil that must constantly eat at that person, damaging their very soul.

This girl…this sociopath, needs to be locked up for a long, long time.  What happened to her in the past that caused her to turn into such a barbarous, remorseless monster?  Was it a lack of proper parenting?  Was it the people she hung around with?  Could her head be filled with bad wiring?

….

As soon as I got home yesterday I picked up Nemesis, gave her a big hug, then a treat, then I watched this video of a german weatherman who picked up a cat that wandered onto the news set during his forecast:

Happy Friday? See you on Monday for my 200th post!