Terrible Analogies

I was researching an apparent coolant leak on my car this afternoon when this autofill return from Google caught my eye:

Am I to believe that enough people googled “why does my boyfriend want me to pee on him” that it’s become a default autofill?  What’s with this apparent rash of strange urinary practices, and why does this not fill me with confidence and hope for the future?

I am most certainly not one to judge others, nor am I a prude, but come on people…why would anybody want to relieve themselves on somebody else?  IMHO, the very desire to want to do such a blatantly foul act on another human being smacks of a serious mental disorder.  Ladies, if your man expresses a need to pee on you (or vica versa), take my (obvious and sane) advice and leave him.  Wishing to do something so patently foul to another human being is a sure sign of a mental disorder, and it requires immediate professional psychiatric help.

Computer, Tech Computer, Tech

I swear, if I didn’t know any better I’d think that these guys have a miniature camera secreted away in a dark corner of my living room, watching me multitask whilst trying to “relax”.  

It’s funny how “relaxing” in the modern world means having to constantly monitor communications from work via e-mail and cell phone, reviewing the latest news on the web, and keeping your Twitter / Facebook / MySpace / Blogs constantly updated with fresh info.  Whatever happened to unplugging, reclining in a chaise lounge in the backyard, and reading a good book?

It’s no wonder some people tend to burn out on requirements of the modern age.

Books, Computer, Tech, Work, comics Books, Tech, Work

For the past few days I’ve been glued to my arcade machine, unable and unwilling to tear myself away for any great length of time.  I’ve found myself addicted to a game I had somehow managed to miss during my arcade-hopping years in the late 80’s to early 90’s.  Lost in a shuffle of neon lights, Vegas-style low-shag high-traffic carpeting, change machines, and questionable chain smoking characters lurking behind glass counters, eyeing the kids with malicious intent was this game that I had only, in these recent days, come to discover and absolutely embrace.

This game goes by the name Nitroball, and it currently owns my soul.

Nitroball can best be described as a cross between Smash TV and NFL Football, set inside a gigantic pinball machine.  I know how funky that sounds (heck, the logistics and costs of constructing such a massive pinball machine located at the edge of space in and of itself boggles the mind), and that’s part of the appeal of this game.  In Nitroball, you play the part of a “soldier” in a futuristic game show, and your goal is simple; kill the baddies and grab the prizes.  Thin on plot, but interesting gameplay and unusual visuals keeps you pumping in quarter after quarter.

Not much thought went into the design of the tease screen...

Apparently this game takes place inside a huge pinball machine floating at the edge of space

You play Gary, an ex-Navy "sregeant" (whatever that is). At over 6' and weighing in at a gangly 177lbs, I don't think our hero stands much of a chance against the upcoming onslaught.

Look at the kind of crap Gary has to contend with: spelling competitions, crazed overall-wearing ducks, villains in purple leisure suits, and autonomous robots showering the field with high explosives.

Mini-boss time!

Laying waste to "Ghost Town"

Ghosts, and zombies, and truckers...oh my!

It's nice to see that, in the distant future, dual cassette tape decks are considered "big prizes"

You can keep your XBoxes, your PS3s, and your newfangled Atari 5200s.  I’m keeping it real, rocking the original games that made going to the arcades so much fun back in the day…

Arcade Game, Game, Tech, toys Arcade Game, Game, Tech

Is it just me, or does the new Iomega external hard drive look an awful lot like a flask?

Computer, Tech Computer, Tech

All right now…if you’re going to show off your phone, at least shell out a few extra bucks for a hand model that doesn’t suffer from occupational dermatitis.

In one of the more anticipated chats at All Things Digital, Palm Executive Chairman Jon Rubinstein showed off the Palm Pre and talked about several features of the smartphone for the first time.

Yikes!  Those are the hands of Palm’s Executive Chairman?  Now, I know that Palm has hit hard times recently, but come on Jon, spring for a bottle of Jergens.  It’s called “moisturizing”, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of…

Tech, Unusual Sightings Tech, Unusual Sightings