My Top Ten Guilty Pleasure Movies
My Top 10 list of guilty pleasure movies (not in any particular order). We all have ‘em. Go on, admit it. What are some of yours?
1) Krull – To rescue his kidnapped bride, Prince Colwyn must track down and destroy a group of aliens who travel the globe in a castle that teleports to unknown locations once each day. Aided by a group of outlaws, an inexperienced wizard, and a cyclops who knows the time and location of his death, Colwyn must succeed in his quest or risk losing his world to these alien invaders. This movie just so happens to feature one of the coolest weapons ever; the legendary Glaive, plucked from molten stone, which is the one thing that can destroy the leader of the alien invaders. It’s swords verses laser guns…whose side are you on? I still have nightmares about the spike room…
2) Strange Brew – Bob and Doug McKenzie, two brothers who have a public access television show called The Great White North, are caught up in a web of lies, treason, hockey, and world domination when they try to return a bottle of beer with a mouse in it. This, in my opinion, was Rick Moranis’ greatest silly movie ever. This was the movie that taught me when milk is past its expiration date, it’s best not to drink it.
3) Escape From New York: Snake Plissken. Need I need to say more?
4) Flash Gordon: Saviour Of The Universe – If cool was on a scale of 1-10, then Flash Gordon would easily rate an 8.5. I guess it’s no surprise that Max Von Sydow, who also starred in Strange Brew, takes a leading role in Flash Gordon as Ming the Merciless, a man whose eyebrows alone can destroy entire solar systems. This movie has everything; flying hawk men, tree stumps with toxic creatures (stick your arm in. I dare ya), a future James Bond, mind erasers, space ships, and a wicked “duel to the death” on a spike-laden floating platform. Top it all off with a killer soundtrack from Queen and you have the makings of a brilliant cheesefest. What’s that? You’ve never seen this flick? Shame on you…
5) Colors – Directed by Dennis Hopper, Colors gives us a brief glimpse into the world of gangs and the cops who try to keep the peace when they’re not busy spray painting the faces of taggers or riding around in the most obvious undercover car imaginable. Sure, this movie takes a few liberties with the dynamics of gang life, but it makes up for it with a killer machine gun showdown, and a great death scene by Duvall (did I just spoil it for ya?). Of course, it doesn’t compare to Victor Argo’s death scene in King Of New York (now *that’s* the way to die on film), but Duvall does make it difficult not to feel for his character’s demise. Side note: This movie just so happens to have one of the greatest sound tracks ever.
6) The Adventures Of Buckaroo Banzai – I remember skipping school to go see this movie back in the day. With the oddest bunch of side kicks Buckaroo Banzai, a skilled brain surgeon and lead singer for the greatest rock-n-roll band in existence, has just discovered a way to travel into the eighth dimension, and come back sane. Little does he or his rag tag group of adventurers realize that a group of rogue aliens covets this new technology, and they’ll do anything to obtain it. If you’ve ever found yourself wondering what Jeff Goldblum looks like in a cowboy outfit, or just how crazy can John Lithgow act (hint: crazier than a burlap bag full of butter), here’s your chance to find out.
7) Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure and Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey – It’s two, two, two movies in one. I can debate the merits and conundrums of traveling through time and space, but to do so would not do justice to these two fine examples of classic American cinema. Keanu Reeves peaked in his acting career much too early with these films, and it’s been downhill ever since. Bonus points for the inclusion of George Carlin, the unique pronunciation of “So-crates”, making San Dimas a famous city, and for giving Death a wedgie. ”Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.” Indeed they are, Ted. Indeed they are…
8 ) eXistenZ – eXistenZ is David Cronenberg’s most accessible film, and it just happens to be one hell of a ride. Dolores Claiborne, the world’s most gifted game designer, has created an MMORPG virtual reality game where participants can jack into the game via a genetically created mind link device to become the very characters they play. Lost in gameplay, and with their lives threatened at every turn, where does reality stop, and the game start? If I could have just one thing from this movie, it would have to be the gun that shoots human teeth. After digesting this film, you might be ready to move on up to Videodrome.
9) Cloak & Dagger – Davey Osborne has a problem; he’s a kid with an overactive imagination, and he’s stumbled upon one of the greatest and most dangerous of military secrets. The bad guys know this, and they’ll kill Davey for it. With the help of his imaginary friend Jack Flack, Davey must overcome insurmountable odds and his own self doubt if he wants to get through the night alive, and the secret into the right hands. Note: With the help of a MAME emulator, you can actually play the Cloak & Dagger game from the film.
10) Freejack – Emilio Estevez plays race car driver Alex Furlong, who is teleported into the not-so-distant future. Breaking free from his captors he becomes a “freejack” who finds himself pursued by a “bonejacker” named Vacendak. On the run and completely alone, Alex must track down friends from the past and discover, if possible, just what the heck is happening to him. Whenever I watch this flick, I find myself rooting for Vacendak. Released in 1992, this movie has held up surprisingly well. Screw the hoverboard, I want one of those swanky future bubble cars.
